Learning How to Count

Chapter One

"Jesus, Darren. Can't you handle not hitting your knees on the table when you sit just once?" I ask, picking up the green beans.

"It's not my fault the furniture in this house is made for tiny people."

"It's not made for tiny people, it's made for normal sized people. You're just abnormally large."

He sticks his tongue out at me.

"You're such a child sometimes, yah know?"

"That's enough you two. Darren, stick your tongue back in your mouth. We're not studying human anatomy here," Hanna says, intervening before by brother can say something back.

Just then my dad walks through the door, taking his oily, grease covered shoes off before he steps foot on the nice hardwood floor, coming back inside from another long day of work in his shop. He works out in our garage, and harder than anyone I've ever known. Always repairing cars, changing tires, blah blah blah. I'll never understand anything about cars like he does. He walks past the entry to the dining room, down the hallway, and straight into his office. I hear his office chair creak as he sits down and swivels to face his laptop, probably writing up another bill or looking up some parts he needs for a car. He comes out a few minutes later and finally sits down at the table to eat. Darren has already gone through one plateful of chicken alfredo and is placing salad onto his plate, drowning the lettuce in ranch.

"Would you like some salad with your half a bottle of ranch?" I ask while he's putting the ranch onto the poor lettuce. I can pretty much hear it's cries for help.

"Actually, is there another bottle of ranch in the cupboard? I don't think this will be enough."

"God, you're absolutely disgusting. I don't understand how you can put so much on such a little amount of salad," crinkling my nose and turning my eyes down to my own plate. I look down at my food. My green beans are gone and I'm beginning to start on the salad. I turn to my dad.

"How was work today?"

"It was work. More than you will ever do in your pathetic life," he replies, shoveling a forkful of alfredo covered noodles and a chunk of chicken into his mouth. I turn my eyes back down to my own plate again and begin pushing my noodles around in the pile. I wrap a couple around my fork and slowly put them into my mouth. I've lost my appetite completely.

Why does he always have to treat me like I'm worthless? I'm nothing but a waste of space. I will never be good enough in his eyes. After all, I'm just the daughter of a cheating liar, right? Destined to be a liar and a failure from birth. That's what he says. That's what he always says, and maybe it's true...

I twirl a few more noodles and stab a piece of lettuce with my fork. I bring it to my mouth and look across the table to my brother. I can see the sympathy in his eyes. He might be a dick sometimes but he doesn't think it's right, the things he calls me. My father. The one who is supposed to love me unconditionally, no matter what. At least that's what the world has told me.

I look around the table and see that everyone has finished their dinner. I quickly shovel a few forkfuls of salad into my mouth making sure to dodge the little chunks of cheese. Taking one last bite of the noodles, I have successfully eaten a plate of vegetables and barely half a serving of alfredo covered noodles. I get up, clear my plate of remaining noodles and cheese chunks into the garbage can and place it into the dishwasher along with my fork. By the time I walk back into the dining room, my dad has already left the table, crumpled up napkin and dirty plate still sitting at his spot.

"Why doesn't he ever just put his plate in the dishwasher? He has legs like the rest of us."

"Don't talk like that. He works hard every day and still has to work after dinner. Be respectful," Hanna scolds as I pick up his plate and the bottles of dressing to put away. She has only been living in this house for a little over a year, but she acts like she owns the goddamn place. I wish she would stop talking to me like I'm a problem child--Like I need some sort of discipline in my life. Who died and made her my mother?

Hanna leaves the table and it's just me and Darren left to clear everything up.

"You know you shouldn't listen to him, right? He's wrong. You're incredibly talented Eli. You're gonna go somewhere in the world," Darren tells me as he stacks Hanna's plate on top of his.

I look up from the plastic gallon-size bag I'm putting the rest of the pasta into.

"Thanks, Dare. I don't know what I would do without you sometimes." I give him a sad smile. One that doesn't reach my eyes. I feel the strings of my heart pull down, constantly dragged down by depression.

After the table is cleared Darren walks into the living room. I hear the sound of Netflix being started up.

"Do you wanna watch a movie with me? I'll let you pick this time."

I run into the living room and jump over the couch nearly kicking him.

"You already KNOW what I'm gonna say," I yell.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I figured. One Phantom of the Opera, coming right up. This time, just try not to sing along with the high notes? You sound like a dying chicken," he laughs as he starts the movie.

"I. Was. SICK. Now shush, it's starting," I tell him, grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch and snuggling into the corner. Darren looks over and chuckles, shaking his head.

"I will never understand how you can love one movie so much."

"SHH."

I turn my head back to the T.V. and begin mouthing the words to one of my favorite movies of all time.

The rest of my sit-ups can wait till after.

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Author's Note

Helloooooo. Thanks for stopping to read my story. I've had the idea to write something like this for a while but have never gotten around to it. I hope you enjoyed!

As stated in the description, the ideas in this book will be pulled from my own experiences and those of others. Feel free to leave me a message telling me your story. I want this book to be able to apply and relate a little bit to everyone. Everyone's struggles are different, but even so every single one of them are significant. If you ever need anyone to talk to about anything, I will always be open and free to talk, unless I am sleeping, and if that's the case I'll be sure to answer any messages when I wake up.

Make sure to leave comments and vote!! And feel free to leave and corrections in the comments. I know errors are annoying to read through. I'm going to try to catch most of them, but I will probably miss a few.

Thanks again for taking the time to read this!!

~Rachel <3