The STD Trace

25. Why? Why? Why to the Freaking Why?

I spun on my heel and Porter walked past me, stopping to smile at me. God, he was so freaking disgusting, what did I ever see in him?

“Hi, Hannah, it has been so long since we’ve last talked.”

“Trust me, I feel very fortunate for that.” I snorted.

His smile grew snarkier. “Hannah, look, I sincerely apologize for my actions, okay? Don’t hate me, babe.” He reached out for me and I flinched away, remembering the way those same hands threw me up against the lockers. I remembered the way those same hands clutched hard onto the roots of my hair.

“Whatever, I accept. Bye, Porter.” I headed down the hall for my car and he grabbed my wrist, pulling me flush up to his chest. “Let go.” My eyes grew wide with panic.

“Have you gotten any mysterious text messages lately?” he whispered.

I gasped. “You bastard! Why would you send me those?”

“Who said it was me?” He raised both eyebrows and I stared. His hand was starting to hurt, curled around my wrist the way it was.

“Porter, Porter please just let me go, okay?” I looked him in the eyes.

“All I want to say is, you better be careful about what you do. I didn’t send them, Hannah, but I know who did, and I know who will continue to do so. You better watch out.” He released me and I stumbled back. He laughed. “You’re such a wuss.”

My eyes teared up. He always made me feel insignificant, powerless, defenseless, and so stupid.

“Oh, and good luck on your STD tracing.” He winked. I averted my gaze as Winston came down the hall.

“Is there a problem?” Winston asked, his back to the situation as he put in his locker combination, popping it open.

“No, not at all. I love having friendly chats with Hanners here.” Porter blew me a kiss and then headed down the hall.

I let my shoulders fall slack and then I headed for my car for the last time. Winston grabbed my arm and I shrugged out of his hold. “You’re talking to me now?” I whispered, looking up at him.

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Can we not argue right now?”

“Oh, so I’m supposed to disregard that you haven’t picked up any of my calls, or answered any of my texts? Oh, and when I came by you were supposedly never home. So, I’m supposed to forget about all of that?” I clutched my hands into fists.

“Look, I have been tutoring around the clock, Hannah. Plus, my grandma is in the hospital for her radiation treatments, so I can’t just drop everything and—”

“But you could have told me that! Instead, you just blew me off and you know I am not one of those girls that blow up your phone for no reason or because I just can’t help myself. I needed someone to talk to, I needed you,” I whispered the last sentence, hanging my head.

“Hannah, I’m sorry, okay? I wasn’t purposefully avoiding you, I swear. It’s just, I’m not taking my grandma’s treatment well, that’s all. It’s not personal.”

“Do you not get the fact that I wanted you to just tell me that instead of leaving me hanging?” I narrowed my eyes at him. Sometimes it’s like he doesn’t even listen to me.

“I see your point, yes.” He sighed in surrender. I don’t want him to surrender, I want him to understand. God, why was he being like this?

“Fine, bye, Winston.” I walked away and he ran after me.