It All Fell Down | A Marauder's Story

Twenty-Nine

       "Okay," Charlie said matter of factly, getting to her feet. "Take the spells down." 

      "Why?" 

      "Just trust me." 

      Lily propped herself onto her elbows, quirking an eyebrow at her friend. She said nothing, however, as she lifted her wand, removing the barrier spells she had placed on the door hours ago. 

      Charlie marched to the door and wretched it open to reveal five very startled faces. James immediately made a move towards Lily, but Charlie was quicker. She pulled out her wand and made a warning sound, causing the boy to take a step back. 

      Her friends just stared at her, and Lily remained in her place on the floor, staring at Charlie's back. "She does not need your pity; she does not need you asking if she is okay; she does not need you to tell her it will be okay."

      Something about Charlie's voice made Marlene want to cry. She stared into her ocean eyes, wondering how many times she would have to comfort a friend over losing a loved one. With a wave of revulsion capsizing her stomach, Marlene realized that there were every chance she would have to be comforted over the loss of one of her friends. 

      "Charlie," James whispered. Even in his hushed tone, Charlie could hear the sheer desperation in his voice. He was aching to take care of her. 

      "I know, James," Charlie answered. "But, you have to be careful. Don't say anything, just be therefor her. Like you were for me."

      James' heart twinged. How was it possible he had been but in this impossibly painful situation twice?

      He nodded and moved passed Charlie to get to the red head on the floor. He said nothing as he lowered himself next to Lily. She stared at him with glistening eye, not ready to say anything quite yet. He simply opened his arms, remaining silent, and Lily crawled onto his lap, tucking her head against the crook of his neck. James wound his arms around her back, keeping her securely pressed against his chest. She began to cry then. Truly cry. The type of sobbing that can only be accomplished when someone is there to hold you up. Lily knew she was safe here; so, she finally let herself feel the pain of the news she received early that day. 

     Charlie's throat grew dry watching her friend fall to pieces. She silently excused herself and led her other friends away. They all made their way without discussion to the boy's dormitory, each of them occupying a different space in the room. 

      A moment passed with none of them speaking because what was there to say? All of them wanted to help Lily. To take her pain away. But, this was the sad reality that they were now living in. The war had grown worse and worse over the past year, and nobody wanted to think about just how bad it would get before it was over. 

     Remus finally allowed his eyes to travel over to Charlie. Her face looked just as he feared it would. It was sharp and cold as if she were shielding herself from something, but her eyes let him know she was somewhere else entirely. He didn't have to ask to know that she was thinking about the day she had received her own life-changing news. He ached to help her, offer some words of comfort, but he had nothing. 

      "Charlie," Marlene finally broke the silence. "Are you alright?"

      The girl nodded her head, but she convinced nobody. She ignored their pity filled eyes and distracted herself by lighting a cigarette on the tip of her wand. She breathed in a long drag, relishing the way the nicotine immediately collided with her system. 

     "Is this going to be the new normal?" Peter finally asked, looking fearful of any response they could offer him. 

     Charlie let out a deep sigh, smoke exiting her lungs as she did so. "I'm afraid so, Wormy." 

      Sirius clenched his jaw, and Marlene looked as if she wanted to burst into tears. 

     "It's going to get worse, before it gets better," Remus whispered hoarsely. 

     "And, what happens when it's one of us?" Marlene demanded in a fearful whisper. 

      Charlie's nostrils flared. "If anything happens to any of you, I-I can't-" She stopped. She wasn't sure how to converse how the thought of losing any of them made her feel. How do you explain to someone that if they died you weren't sure you would be able to move on?

      "I understand, Charlie," Sirius responded quietly. 

      James entered the dormitory then, practically carrying Lily along with him. She immediately laid across his bed, burying her face in his pillow, unable to meet the eyes of any of her friends. Each of them hated the strange prickling of déjà vu that filled the air.

     It was no longer about how they felt. About the war. About how unfair life was turning out to be. It was about being there for Lily.