soulmate || jjk

18

"It has" I whispered, my hands hugging the mug as a sudden chill went up my spine. Nerves? Most probably yes.

"You're probably wondering why I asked to meet"

"Yes I am" my face still remaining in between shock and nerves.

"Firstly" he tucked his chair closer into the table "I forgive you"

Those words. I forgive you. He forgave me?

"You do?" My face dropped in confusion as he gave me a small nod "why?"

"I figured I can't hold grudges...I get it"

"You get what?"

"Your fascination, the history you had with him" he said, clearly showing he still wasn't really loving the idea of saying Jungkook's name aloud "and I respect that, let's be honest Astra. We weren't made for each other"

I sipped my coffee, placing it slowly back down on the plate and leaning back into my chair "and second?"

"I'm engaged"

Engaged. My mouth fell open. Shock. But it had only been 6 months since we separated?

"Well, engaged, and wedding date is set"

Double shock. I awkwardly coughed before leaning forwards, suddenly engrossed in this insane situation was unfolding right in front of me.

"I mean...congratulations" I blurted out.

He reached into his pocket before pushing a white envelope across the table. White and pastel yellow roses were engraved on the envelope and a bold, black italic curvy 'Astra' written in the middle. I used my finger to slide across the top on the envelope, slowly opening the card and finding two names written at the top. "Brooklyn and Alex's wedding". It was an invitation. I swallowed, preventing myself from becoming a sob mess in front of him.

"Don't feel pressured to come to the wedding" he said as I looked up at him. I could feel my eyes watering ever so slightly "it's probably quite hard for you, and I'm sorry that it's all happened so quickly with everything that went on, but it felt right. You know?"

I nodded, not completely understanding that feeling, but I felt happy for him. It was a reason to let go of the past. Move on completely without that anchor of guilt.

"Please say something"

"I'm happy for you Alex" I said, finally "truly"

"Just let us know when you make your decision, no hard feelings or anything okay?" He reached over the table giving my hand a small squeeze. He sipped the last bit of his coffee before standing up,

"You sure you're okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked "honestly Alex, I'm fine" I gave him a reassuring smile as he gave me a quick nod.

"See you soon, I guess" was the last thing he said before I watched him walk out of the coffee shop, and disappear out of sight.

I pushed my coffee mug forwards, slowly placing my head against the table. He was getting married. And that was that. I wiped the tears from under my eyes with the sleeves of my sweatshirt. It's stupid. Why am I crying? I realised that even though my feelings for him were never reciprocated, it was hard to let go the one person who truly stood by my side for probably the most important 3 years of my life.

That night I lay in silence in bed, listening to the faint sound of cars driving past my mums house. I couldn't sleep. No matter how many times I tried. The thoughts of marriage, engagements and forgiveness just went around and around in the endless cycle. I flicked on the switch to the lamp besides my bed before plumping up the cushions and leaning up against my headboard. I grabbed the envelope off the side table and read it for what felt like at least 30 times over and over again. My mind eventually decided to switch itself off as I feel into a deep sleep.