Seventh Horcrux

Harry Potter vs. Alastor Moody (Pt. 2)

"Mate, you're starting to sound like a Slytherin again," Ron advised.

I lowered my chin and tried to look very Gryffindor by waving my arms around like an idiot. "Okay, fine, it didn't know where to put me because I so perfectly encapsulated the values of all four houses. I was very cunning, astoundingly brave, and the most intelligent person he'd ever sorted."

Ron said, "You didn't mention loyalty."

"Oh, right, he also thought that I would fit well in Hufflepuff since I would look even more impressive when surrounded by their bumbling. I refused that placement outright, of course."

"I don't believe you," Hermione said. This is exactly the sort of honesty that makes Gryffindors so easy to manipulate. Their obsession with "feelings" and "relationships" were also helpful on that front.

"You're my best friend, Hermione. Would I lie to my best friend?"

She rolled her eyes, though an amused smile pulled at her lips, and Ron yelped, "I thought I was your best friend!"

I ignored him. "Come to think of it, Skeeter did lie about one thing. She claimed that I cried over Lockhart. That's completely ludicrous, and I resent her attempts to sabotage my place in the tournament by making me seem weak."

"Crying when someone dies doesn't make you weak," Hermione said, looking troubled. "It just makes you human."

"Yes, and I think we've all established that I'm better than that," I said.

Somehow, that led to another lecture on emotional neglect.

I stormed towards the castle, Hermione and Ron at my heels like proper minions. "This is so unfair. How could I possibly have the worst score? I'm the only one who killed his dragon!"

"You weren't supposed to kill the dragon, Harry," Hermione said.

I waved my hand dismissively. "That wasn't in the rules…The judges should all be sacked. They're clearly biased. Except for Dumbledore, but he's supposed to be biased for me, so we should get rid of him, as well."

"You broke all the eggs, too," Ron said.

"That also wasn't in the rules, and that was the dragon's fault. It was her body that crushed them."

Hermione pinched the stem of her nose. "Clearly murdering an endangered species isn't a good enough reason to dock points."

"Not when they put one between me and eternal glory," I said.

"You were invisible the whole time!" Hermione cried. "That's hardly glorious, and it didn't do a very good job of entertaining the crowd."

"That's what the explosions were for," I insisted.

"They were pretty cool," Ron said, earning a smack on the arm from Hermione.

I said, "Exactly. If I wasn't trying to be impressive, I would have banished it or something."

Ron asked, "You can do that?"

"Yes, it's very simple," I said dismissively. "If I'd realized dragon slaying was suddenly frowned upon, I would have just sent it home."

Meanwhile, at Privet Drive

A chill raced down Petunia Dursley's spine. She felt oddly certain that she had only narrowly avoided horrible disaster. It was, she decided, probably Harry's fault.

Hermione stalked down the hall, the metaphorical storm cloud above her head nearly made reality as the air crackled with electricity from her accidental magic. Sparks attacked our surrounding classmates. A tiny lightning bolt leapt three feet and stung my hand. Although, considering Hermione's magical prowess and fury towards me at that moment, that one might have been intentional magic.