“You hardly even know Noah!”
Selik hardly talked to anyone but their family or scientists in the lab. He had played with some of the other Enterprise kids—including Noah—when they were younger, but as Selik grew older, he had retreated into his studies.
“Do you actually believe that Noah and Commander Spock are even comparable? The Commander is related regardless of what age he is.”
“Fine,” she shrugged, hiding her hurt. “So are you and Commander Spock going to be best buddies now, just like at home?”
Amanda hated herself for it, but she was jealous. Here she was with her parents who didn’t even know her yet, and Spock still picked Selik over her. And worse, now Selik was blocking her, and Selik was melding with this Spock.
She was alone, utterly alone.
“Amanda, I needed his help. Losing our bonds was scrambling my mind. I could hardly think! I could not control my thoughts!”
“Do you think I don’t feel it too?” Her voice cracked. She wanted to cry. She felt the tears threatening to spill but stopped them. She was Vulcan enough to control that.
“Of course you do. And our pain was rebounding off of each other and amplifying. I had to block you. And I had to meditate without you. I needed Spock’s help, Amanda. I needed it.”
“So it’s Spock now. No Commander?” She hurt so badly then. The pain felt physical. Her lungs and heart felt heavy.
“Amanda, he would help you too if you would let him, just like Father would.”
“I don’t want a Vulcan mind, Selik. I don’t want Father to jump into my thoughts and change them. They’re mine. I just want him to—I don’t know. I just want my mind to be my own.”
“Melding with Father would not forfeit your independence,” Selik insisted.
“I just don’t want anyone in my head but me.” She wanted Selik to stop blocking her. She wanted his presence known to her. But she did not like it when she melded with him or Father. She did not like the feeling of someone else walking through her mind. Noah was okay, because she was in control of the meld. With her family though, it was an entirely different experience.
“You have to meditate, Amanda. Your mind is in pain right now. And your emotions are totally unchecked.” Selik almost sounded like he was begging.
“I’ll deal with it by myself, like I do everything. I don’t need you or Spock,” she moved past him, avoiding his touch.
“We are meeting in the science labs to discuss how to fix this at the beginning of Beta shift. Will you join us?” Selik’s voice was gentle again.
She opened the door and spoke just before shutting it behind her, “I’m sure you and Spock are better off without me anyway.”
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Chapter 7
Start from the beginning
