Numbers(Randy Fanfic)

Part 45

I smiled at his words as I nodded my head. “Don’t worry, Andy, I didn’t think of it like you were using me. But it’s good to know how easily you could accidentally admit to that without me knowing.” He laughed quietly at my words while running his fingers through his beautiful blond hair.

“Okay, good. I was hoping you wouldn’t think of it like that, but I thought I should explain myself anyway.”

“Yeah, but anyway, back to the important thing here. Your parents are gone? Do you have any idea what might’ve happened?”

Andy sighed while shrugging his shoulders as he looked back down at his fiddling fingers to talk. “Arthur, my brother, said that he thinks one of them might’ve finally built up enough courage to kill the other. They had always been at each other’s throats, but I highly doubt that they could actually bring themselves to do something so serious. Like murder? No, they could never.”

“Yeah, murdering each other is a big stretch because your dad has never, like, been abusive has he?”

Andy quickly shook his head while raising his head so his eyes would meet with mine again. “No, he-oh my gosh. I’m so sorry, I completely forgot about the situation with your parents and the thing with your dad-oh my gosh I’m so terrible, wow.”

"Hey hey hey. You’re not terrible, okay? You forgot, so what? This isn’t about a murder that took places years ago; this is about the murder that could be taking place as we speak. You’re going through hell right now, and you’re focusing on your problems instead of my past problems which is totally normal and very expected. You don’t always have to just focus on other people, Andy. You’re allowed to have your own problems and take time to fix your own mental health before trying to help everyone else you know, okay? You’re fine.”

Andy nodded his head as he stood from the bed with deep breathing. “The more I think about what happened with your family, though, the more I worry. Like, I doubt any of you ever expected your dad to do such an awful thing, and he actually was abusive. Who’s to say my dad isn’t just as crazy, and he was just better at hiding it than your dad is. My dad could be murdering my mum right now!”

“Andy, hey, calm down.” I stood from the bed to put my hands on his shoulders and look into his eyes. “It’s all going to be okay. Murder in families isn’t some normal thing that you should just be expecting, okay? So, one, if he does murder your mum, I know exactly what you’ll do, but listen to me. You cannot blame her death on you. If you do that, it’ll rip you apart for every day of the rest of your life. And, two, you gotta stop immediately thinking of the worst case scenarios okay? One of them could’ve just gotten cut by a knife while cooking or something, and the other took them to the hospital. See, anything could be happening. Just try to control your mind a bit, okay?”

He nodded his head while taking a deep breath before gulping in nervousness. “I don’t know if I can do that, though?”

“I know, okay, I know it’ll be a hard thing to do, considering you’ve practically let your bad thoughts control your life for every day of your life before now, and I know you can’t just change something in a matter of minutes, but all I’m asking is that you’ll try to keep the bad thoughts to a minimum. All I’m asking is that you try.”

“Okay, yeah, I can try.”

“Okay, thank you. And also, you don’t need to feel bad if you fail at keeping the bad thoughts to a minimum. It’ll be hard, I know. So don’t think of yourself as a failure if you struggle with it.” He nodded his head at my words once more, and I could see the tears welling up in his eyes.

“I just-I really love my mum. I mean, as much as she called out my flaws and was currently arranging a wedding that I don’t want to be a part of, she was the one I could always count on to be there for me no matter what. If I did anything wrong, she was the one person I knew would be there to make me feel better. She was the one who would make sure that everything turned out okay. If either of them deserves to die, it’s my dad. I can’t handle her death.”

He began hyperventilating now, and I automatically recognized what was going on from when we were kids. He was having a panic attack. “Hey, Andy, it’s okay. Just breathe.” I set him down on on the bed and sat right next to him, wrapping one arm around him to rub his shoulder while having my other hand placed on the shoulder closest to me. “Follow my lead, Andy, okay, just listen to my breathing.”

I started taking deep slow breaths, trying my hardest to stop what Andy was going through, and as he began trying to copy my breathing pattern, he broke down sobbing with still very ragged breathing. I moved to the floor so I was knelt down right in front of the crying mess, and his eyes were now locked with mine.

“Listen to my voice, Andy. It’s okay. Everything is okay. It’ll be fine. I bet your parents are just fine right now, and you’re freaking out for nothing. Please just listen to me, okay, it’s going to be fine. Now, copy my breathing.” I wiped my thumbs under his eyes to wipe away his tears, as his sobbing slowed to a stop. I breathed in and out again slowly, moving my body up and down in a rhythmic motion to try to help him as well. His breathing slowly came back to normal as I stared into his gorgeous eyes, and I smiled at him.

“You see that? You’re okay. Look where you are, Andy. There’s nothing bad going on. Everything’s just fine.” He nodded at my words while taking his last few deep breaths to calm himself.

As I stared into his eyes as I had, what seemed to be, a million times before, I could feel the familiar feeling in me, urging me to make a move so drastic that it would probably get us both sent to The City of Misery. The feeling was even stronger now than it had been in the pool. This time, however, Andy seemed much more enthralled in me than last time. He seemed almost as caught up in my eyes as I was in his.

My eyes flickered downwards toward his lips for a second before meeting with his eyes again. I slowly stood from the ground, and right as I was standing up, Andy stood up as well to look up at me with our bodies nearly pressed right up against each other. With that, I slowly closed my eyes and brought my face forward until I felt his lips touch mine.

The feeling going through my lips, from the connection with his, was something I have never felt before, but I know I've been dreaming of for way too long. There was a type of electric feeling. A lightweight feeling. It felt so right to be with him as if we'd both been saving all of this passion up inside of us for this very moment. It felt as if we were both crafted to be with each other.

His lips moved perfectly against mine, and I could hear him hum in approval against my skin, causing me to smile into the kiss. My arms snaked around his waist, pulling him closer, as his arms wrapped around my neck. It was obvious what we were doing was morally wrong according to society, but obviously, neither of us cared enough about that to stop.

As much as I wanted to kiss him for however long was possible, I could feel my lungs ache as they practically begged me to breathe. I separated my lips from his and leaned my forehead against his, the sound of both of our heavy breathing filling the air. I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes yet as I still felt like I was in some trance, but I spoke in a low voice to the boy anyway. “I’m hoping this will crush that ‘douche’ title you gave me.”

He laughed quietly, and I could feel his hand now on my cheek rubbing it gently. “It’s sure to work to some avail.”

A/N- Okay hey so I told ya in the last chapter that I’d be updating on time from now on, but that didn’t happen so oops but OMG WE HIT 90K READS sksskksjaakakajskk thank y’all so much omg anywayyy hope y’all liked this one so vote and comment kiddos