Manzilein

12. Messed up hearts

"You imprisoned me, Shivaay. You tongue tied me. Had you not run away from your feelings, from me, I wouldn't have had to stay quite. My heart says, you care, you love. But how do I show my heart to everyone. My words are of little value. They say I'm holding onto an already drowned ship." Anika thought and closed her eyes as she back faced Neil.

"You also know that I'm saying the truth, that's why you keep quite." Neil said when Anika didn't speak.

"Now it's enough, Di. Noone can see you like that. And I'm happy with the decision Dad has taken." Neil blurted out making Anika startled.

"W..what decision ?" Anika asked, fearing to hear the answer.

"I didn't want to tell you. But, now I will. Dad has fixed your marriage with the Prince of Raigarh, Viraj Singh." Neil spoke, making Anika shiver at the mere thought of marrying someone else.

"No.. that can't happen, No.." Anika blabbered and started crying.

"You know him, Di. He used to study with you. He is really good for you." Neil tried to touch Anika's shoulders but she jerked his hands away and looked at him angrily.

"Good ? You found the one who you think is good for me but do you know, that you snatched the best from me ? You got to know about the way he married me, you got to know the way he divorced me but what about those six months of togetherness when he made me smile ? When he showered me with love without saying ? When he took care of Sahil like his baby ? He did blackmail me with Sahil's injury to marry him but seeing his care I realised that it was just a facade. He genuinely cared for Sahil. He.. (she chuckled, with tears in her eyes ) he tried to suppress his feelings but I know he loved me. He just... he's just an egoistic fool. An idiot, whose mind is filled with hay. But he.. he cares for me. He does." Anika spoke the last line to herself and sat on the floor, covering her tear striken face.

Neil didn't know what to do or how to make his Di understand. He tried to touch her, to console her but he knew it was useless. He left from there helplessly.

Anika touched the bracelet in her hand which was his gift. More than a gift it was her support to rely on, in his absence. "You are so bad, Shivaay Singh Oberoi. Just so bad. I hate you... I hate you." Anika said while looking at the bracelet.

Cold breeze touched her face and she felt peaceful. She didn't know that the air brought the several "I love you's" from a corner of the Mumbai where she had left her heart and soul and had brought someone else's with her.
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"Is it a time to come home ?" Om switched on the light as soon as Shivaay entered the house. Shivaay squirmed as the light touched his dull, blue eyes, afterall, he has become habitual to darkness.

"There was an important work to be finished. It's just..normal." Shivaay replied.

"Why didn't you sleep yet ?" Shivaay asked from Om.

"It's too early to sleep." Om replied as he offered a glass of water to Shivaay.

"Are you mad ? 1:30 Am is early for you ?" Shivaay was flabbergasted.

"If you can return at this time and it is normal for you then why can't this be early for me to sleep ?" Om spoke and Shivaay knew he had no escape now.

"You knew, that you can't live without her. Yet you let her go. You chose thorns for yourself and for her." Om 'tried' to knock some sense into his brother's brain.

"It's nothing like that, Om. I'm fine. I'm not a kid who would be sad when his toy would break. It's just... I have too much of work nowadays." Shivaay said with the same rigid expressions.

"This work is not finishing since Anika bhabi has left, Shivaay. This 'nowadays' started five months ago. Right ? Till when will you run from reality ?" Said Om.

"I'm not running away from anything. When there's nothing then why would I run ?" Shivaay argued.

"So you don't care ?" Om asked. "No." Shivaay replied.

"So you don't love, Anika bhabi ?" Om asked. "N..no." Shivaay replied while stuttering.

"So you'll be fine when Anika bhabi will get married to someone else, infront of your eyes ?" Om said as Shivaay was going towards his room. Shivaay stopped in the middle of the stairs when he heard Om's words. He looked at Om's back. Om knew that Shivaay has stopped there but he didn't turn to face him.

"Today Manish uncle called Dadi. He doesn't want to finish this relation of friendship between our families. So he wants us to attend the wedding. And Dadi has decided that we are going there after a weak as  the rituals will start from next Wednesday.  Anika bha... I mean Anika is getting married to someone named Viraj Singh." Om said and his every word was a dagger on Shivaay's heart.

"By the way, it's good that it doesn't matter to you. Because you will have to go with us as it is Dadi's order. Any way, finish your 'too many works' before next weak. Ok ?" Om said and left from there, leaving a more than broken Shivaay behind.

Shivaay didn't know what to do ? How to react ? His feet felt numb but somehow he dragged himself out of the house and drove towards the hilltop, where he had decided to let darkness engulf him by letting her go. But that time he didn't know that he will have to come across this day.

He sat on the ground, not caring about the wet ground due to the first rain of the monsoon. How does monsoon matter, when his own life is nothing but a barren desert ?

"I never saw Mumbai ki baarish. Today I'll definitely dance and jump in the rain and then after that I'll jump in the watery puddles."

He smiled when he remembered her words as the drizzling drops fell on his face. There is perhaps nothing that wouldn't remind him of her. He caressed the chain with the Black beads and a small starry diamond which shone like her. Her nuptial chain it was, his solace.

He kissed that chain that once he had tied in her neck and whispered numerous 'I love You's'. Though he whispered to himself, but the monsoon air heard it and preserved it with utmost care so as to send it to someone sitting in the distant mountains who, despite having the world at her feet, was living with a small hope of meeting him once again.
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