Mikhaela || L.H Fanfic ||

Flashbacks: Hello's and cock ups.

Hello to you and thanks for joining! This is wonderful isn’t it, eh? Now, let me get you up to speed, so you know what’s happening;

Previously in my life; my mother tried to marry me off.

-Flashback-

“SOMEONE PLEASE, MARRY MY DAUGHTER,” said my mother, loudly in the megaphone, while I was standing next to her in the of the street, while I was looking at her weirdly. You know, that ‘I don’t want to get fucking married off to some man or woman that I don’t fucking know. Can’t you just leave my love life alone for once? For fucksake’ look. “I AM NOT ASKING FOR MONEY; I AM JUST PRACTICALLY, GIVING HER AWAY.”

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She was upset that I blew my inheritance.

Then there’s my old best friend, Una, who I’ve known since I was 16, and we both own this joke shop/gift shop together in Sydney; in a way, sometimes I think I’ve made a bad choice to make her the boss of the shop because sometimes the ideas she has are always, well… Extreme.

-Flashback-

“And that’s how we’ll make our shop global.” Una said in her ‘WE’RE GOING TO MAKE BIG BUSINESS!’ enthusiastic way to me while she was showing me a pie chart and other information for our shop. I was basically sitting on a chair while next to a big and tall meerkat, that we called Steven. I gave Una an unsure and confused look on my face, and then looked at Steven, trying to have a conversation with him… or her? “It’s a bit much, isn’t? Yeah, I thought so too. At LEAST SOMEONE AGREES with me, and he or she doesn’t even work here. I mean, we’re just a little shop that sells this,” I said, taking a joke can of peanuts and opening the top then popped out a toy caterpillar on a spring that made a loud squeak. Una took one of them klaxton horns off the shop counter, “Shush and submit,” she said as she held the rubbery air bag thing at the of the horn tightly in her right hand and it made a very loud “HOOONNNNNKKKKKK!!!” noise in my ear. I literally fell off my stool and landed on my chest on the hard wooden floor.

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And today I’m overly excited because my old friend Luke Hemmings is back from his tour with his band, 5 Seconds of Summer, which I’m a huge fan of. He’s lovely; but I always make a cock up of myself. Ha, cock up. Because, boys have… cocks. And when their horny their cocks go um… up. Yeah…

-Flashback-

Me, Luke and the rest of his band, we’re we at this dance club. Ashton and Michael fucked off somewhere (I don’t know where, probably trying to hook up some girls), Calum went to get a drink at the bar, whereas me, I was getting comfy on one of them sofas until Luke made me get up and fucking dance to this song he likes. What was it called? *clicks fingers while trying to think* Oh yeah, it was Crazy Stupid Love by fucking Cheryl Cole or Fernandez-Versini or whatever her name is, she freaking annoys me. That song freaking annoys me – I think it’s the saxophone that puts me off in the choruses. I can’t dance. I don’t dance. But I done it for him, considering I like like him, and haven’t told him yet, unfortunately… I did try to twerk, but unfortunately failed? “C’mon, let’s dance!” Luke shouted to me over the extremely loud music, “Um, okay,” I got up from my comfortable seating place (though I didn’t want to) while he dragged me onto the dance floor. He started to dance, whereas me I just twerked – very very badly…Shut up; I did say I tried! SO BADLY, AS THE STUPID SAXOPHONE CHORUS CAME ON, MY FUCKING SKIRT FELL DOWN. Well at first I didn’t even noticed until Luke stopped dancing and looked at me weirdly; and when I mean weirdly, I mean, it was a ‘Your skirt has fell down…’ weirdly while he looked on the floor with my skirt around my heels on the floor. I immediately stopped dancing. Luke really didn’t know what to say except he was going to get us some drinks from the bar and then left me on my own, seeming to be embarrassed. While I was pulling up my skirt in time of the second chorus of the song and trying to make it look like nothing happened.

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So now, say no more and let’s crack on with the story.