Bucket List

Chapter 6 'Make Me Fall In love'

Day five in Italy

The air had cooled down a bit and you tried to sleep, but you kept thinking about him. He kept popping up in your mind, and not in a he's like my best friend and I just think of him often kind of way. It drove you nuts that he was acting so distant. You kept finding yourself staring at him from afar, eyes scanning over his body, noticing things that you had never noticed before. His lips, those cute round cheeks, his hands, his chest, and of course his eyes. Those perfect blue eyes, and his luscious lashes. Those eyes who now made your legs turn into jelly.

These thoughts had kept you up several nights in a row, and on the fifth night in the villa, you couldn't take it anymore and went to his room.

You rolled out of bed and quickly put on an oversized shirt. The stone floor was cold under the soles of your feet and you started to walk to Rogers room, which was on the other side of the house. You tried to be as silent as possible since everyone was asleep. The only sounds that were present, were the sound of your feet moving over the floor and some crickets outside in the garden.

Rogers door was already half open and you squeezed yourself between the door and the doorframe. you stood in the opening and whispered: "Hey, Rog, are you awake?"

"Hmmm, what?" His voice was hoarse from sleepiness, and you were surprised that he was awake. You opened that he was, but it was far past midnight after all.

"I can't sleep." You whispered while standing in the doorframe. "Can I come in? We need to talk." You walked toward the bed and Roger rubbed his hands in his eyes, a little surprised at your unexpected nightly visit.

"You're acting so upset and I..." Your voice cracked. "What did I do?" You whispered in a high voice. "Why are you acting so distant?".

He scrunched his eyebrows and half whispered: "What?! Wait. No! No. You didn't do anything wrong Y/N." he pushed himself up against the headboard "It's me," he continued "I'm so sorry about that kiss, I- I shouldn't have done that. And I was an ass for acting like that." He apologized. "Come here." He patted the mattress with his hand and you came to sit on the bouncy material. "I- I just. I misread things I guess." He stuttered.

You were fidgeting with your fingers, and you noticed that your heart rate was increasing rapidly as you continued your story. "Euhm, Rog." You began. You turned your torso towards him and kept looking back and forth between your hands and his eyes -which were blown out because of the darkness-. You took a deep breath and continued your story, "You know, I've thought about it... Us. And I- I just don't look at us like that.", "I- I didn't look at us like that." You corrected yourself. "I didn't know you saw me like that. But now, maybe..." You paused again. "We, uhm. Shit, this is ridiculous." you murmured under your breath and shook your head in disapproval of your own words and thoughts.

"You're so beautiful you know that?" He whispered, making it almost inaudible. A tiny smile appeared on your face, and your cheeks turned a darker shade of red as you softly giggled at his remark.

Roger pushed the covers of off him and came to sit next to you on the edge of the bed. His bare leg gently brushed against yours. And he said: "Again, Y/N I'm so sorry, it was an asshole move of me to not talk to you. Or barely. it's just that-" His heart was racing in his chest as he tried to bring up the courage to tell you how he felt. He had to do it now, cause if not now when? Your eyes were fixed on your hands while you carefully waited for Roger to continue his story. "Y/N, I like you... A lot... Maybe more than I should, and... when you didn't kiss me back... it hurt." He let out a deep sigh of relief.

You were fiddling with your cuticles, scraping over the sensitive skin. Leaving little red lines on your skin. It was a bad habit, something you did when you were nervous. And in silence, Roger laid his hand atop yours.