Brightening White Flowers

20. Completing the Rite

"Why is a partial bond dangerous?" his voice is gruff, like it always is when he asks me questions from genuine curiosity. It is as if he wishes he had no curiosity when it comes towards anything with me. As if he just wants to feel disgust and hate towards me.

I bend my knees and stroke the leather of my boots, "A partial bond is completely different from the Bond. The Bond is about tying two souls and sharing power between them. A partial bond is where only one person is connected to another, it is about domination. The one who formed the bond can feel the other person's needs and emotions, they can influence them, and they can even cause the inner Soul to run out of control." I cringe because sharing this reminds me of why it has taken my kind so long to gain acceptance in the eyes of the other species. But I do not want him going into our family hidden from aspects of our society and our history, "In most cases the one who forms this bond is because they want a pet but when it is with children they are trying to form a connection similar to the one between parent and child."

He nods then, apparently done with the conversation, looks at the still sleeping Roze and Hana.

"Why do you not love her?" The question pops out of my mouth unbidden. I grimace when my words reach my ears and just barely stop myself from covering the traitorous organ.

He looks at me surprised his mouth opening and closing for a few moments, "How could you know that?"

"When I see the energy world it shows things, such as when people love or lust each other. With love it causes the people to brighten when they approach each other and the light feels... it feels as if it gives warmth." I watch his expression, feeling the calmest I have since seeing Roze at Sarsburry, "You are not like that towards her."

He runs his hand through his lighter colored hair but stops halfway through, "I feel that connection to her. The moment I saw her I felt pulled towards Hana. I feel like I need to be with her more than I have ever felt with anybody else. But I'm human and I've only known her for a short time. I know I can love her. She likes to listen just as much as likes to share what she's heard and she's trying to find her own Path. There's a lot I like about her but I just don't love her yet."

I nod accepting that answer. As long as he feels that pull then I am sure she will get her dream and he is right about humans. Humans are ruled less by their hormones then the more wilder species.

Davian looks to Roze again, "Why does she still look like a kid?"

I shrug, "I can only guess that it was because we had never completed the turning process."

His eyes still judge me but at least he looks like he does not want to kill me with his eyes alone, "Why not?"

I watch for a moment as his hands clench into fists before he slowly uncurls them to be relaxed in his lap. A forced relaxation. I go back to stroking my boots again, "I never meant to turn her. All I had wanted to do was to heal her and my power over light was out of reach when I came to. In that moment when I resurfaced and realized what I had done all I could remember was that vampire blood has extraordinary regenerative abilities. After my family came..." I shudder a little, "I struggled with controlling the monster inside me again. In the process of gaining that control back I repressed some of the memories." Actually I repressed them all, even the ones including how my mother died. He does not need to know how badly I took everything though.

He runs his hand through his hair again and looks down at the ground below us. I grimace as I realize that some of the words I had used may not be easy for him to understand. But, it seems like I do not need to explain anything more as he looks back up at me. His face is set into a grimace as he speaks, "You aren't... who I expected you to be."