The Renaissance Of A Romance [chaennie x jenlisa]

xix. death of a soul

"You can't love a woman." Chanyeol's tone was caustic. "You know how society speaks of that kind of relationship."

"And yet I have loved one, despite. Tell me how can this be a can't when i was able to?" I injected.

"Because you have me. Ever since the beginning. We're betrothed to each other. You became so uncertain of me now because you have been luring yourself over her. Imagining the possibilities of the love you can never have. This is all just a facade, Roseanne. All the whispers of your mind, the betrayal of your heart, the hunger of your body for her is nothing but a wave of the sea. It will pass."

"Even if all that you say will hail true. I still cannot redeem the love that you have gave me. I've done damage enough. Loving you again, just like before,  just doesn't sound right."

"I'm opening all my heart to you and this is how you speak of it? I'm ready to forgive you Roseanne! The least thing you could do is to let me!" His voice groaned frustration. I could only sob more.

I looked at my finger where he placed the diamond ring that promised me marriage. Now it's time to let this go. I internally thought as I took a long breath before removing the ring out of my finger. I stretched my arms as I reached for his hand. "This is not for me." Pain was mortified in my voice as I placed the ring on his palms, then I slowly closed his hand. He just cried and shook his head.

I cupped his pleading face as my heart broke again for the nth time. I placed a soft kiss on his cheek, like it was the last wind of spring, the last warmth of touch that I can give him. "This hurts me too. But I need to go, love. Forgive me for not letting you love me again."

...

JENNIE.

I made a mistake again.

"Again?" Jisoo suddenly spoke like she have read my mind.

"What?" I crumpled my forehead.

"You've been staring at the floor too hard, which means you've done something terrible again." She expounded as I baffled myself at her statement. Why is she always right about me?!

"Speak up, you devil. What did you do?" Her voice demanded answers.

I cleared my throat "Uh. So. Don't get mad. The day I ran after Roseanne I kind of collapsed because of my asthma and I somehow ended up at her cabin home and we - uh - you know." I hesitated as I was scared of what Jisoo would do because I'll know she will explode.

"Ah-uh-you know? speak the fuck up!" She dared to mock me. "We kissed and she went on top of me." I spilled as I was nervous. 

"And why did this happen?" A sharp glare invited me to answer Jisoo right away. "Because it did???" I gulped after, I bit my lips out of anxiousness. "How will you get Lisa back now?! That's a stupid move." She exhaust her disappointment.

I frowned. "I know. I'm always kind of in between them two. I always get the feeling of not having to choose someone, you know? Whenever i'm with Lisa I am a different person who loves her and so am I to Roseanne. No one's greater than the other because they give life to different parts of me, and it's incomparable. I don't know how else I could explain this." 

"That's because Jen's a part of you here. Jen's heart has always been with Lisa while you, Jennie, you will always belong to Chaeyoung, and apparently Roseanne somehow accumulated her memories and her eternal love for you. It's like Roseanne is bringing up Chaeyoung back to life. Just to meet you again Jennie. So that both of you can continue the love that you had in your lifetime."

"But if I and Chaeyoung can love again here that means Lisa and Jen's soul would be in vain? Also Roseanne and Chanyeol's? I can't afford that to happen. I don't want anyone to sacrifice anything just so I can have the love that should be dead already."