To The Ninth • Yoonmin

A Troubling Introduction To The Mind of Min Yoongi; Prologue

There was something deliciously sick about hurting Park Jimin. It ripped at his conscious, tearing up his heart in fist clenching pain as guilt swallowed him up.

But he loved it. He craved it like an addict that constantly needed some type of high. He loved the desperation that coated over the boy's heartbroken eyes, tears streaming down his soft pink cheeks becoming a frequently painted picture in his mind.

The constant reminder of how terribly in love with him the boy was was still fresh in his mind from the last time he tore up his heart and left it there, hoping he wouldn't miss the way his oh so bright smile faded more and more each time he walked away.

~

Min Yoongi had hurt Park Jimin a total of eight times within his seventeen years of living. It had become a routine; his favorite hobby of working up the boys hopes only to shatter it in the most inhumane of ways.

Of course it started somewhere. Definitely not here, but somewhere. At one point, Min Yoongi could jostle memories from the back of his mind from a time he held genuine pure feelings for the adorable, bright-haired boy. It wouldn't have gotten here if he hadn't. It started in fourth grade. He was cute and lively and full of life, like the speckled caramel colors in his oh so brown eyes were stars that fell from the sky. He was a living petal, the kind that he saw each time he looked up at the booming, lovely blossom trees.

And two weeks after he'd accepted the fluffy pink haired boys confession, a small paper sunflower enveloped in his tiny hands -which the boy very much still possessed- he realized the overly bright ball of sunshine just wasn't for him

He doesn't exactly remember how it went down nor does he remember the familiar type situation that took place seventh grade many years later.

But he does know that those innocent, silly grade school fuck ups sparked something sick in him. That spark ignited from a mere flame into a raging unfightable forest fire that was damned if it could be stopped.

He had realized that hurting Park Jimin was something he couldn't get enough of. He liked the pain of it; the feeling it gave him, something along the lines of being a masochist. Except he wasn't. Because he sparked everything with his own hands and crafted it perfectly to his own liking. If anything, he was the one who liked doing the hurting.

And fuck he loved it. He loved the sunshine that spread across the boy's face when he asked him out, the smiles that plastered and spread across his plushing soft cheeks and crescent moon eyes when everything just felt so perfect. He absolutely adored the boy far more than his heart should have let him. If he didnt, they wouldn't be here. Of course something was there. Halfway. Partially. Almost.

But it was nothing compared to horrid tugging that ripped through his heart every damn time. It was arousing almost, looking into eyes that held nothing but love suddenly fall, his ruined trust burning through his heart with every bloody knife his words carried. Each time he cheated and watched the boy walk in. Each time he ghosted him, living off the boy's desertion and loneliness or made a public breakup that humiliated the boy's spirit down to shreds.

He loved how his eyes would hold a little less love like his stars were losing their eternal glow. How his smile seemed duller, almost as if someone painted a monotone filter of grey across his face. How his laughs were a bit more programmed, but despite everything, he always healed and shined so vibrantly Min Yoongi was baffled by his beauty. There was something about tainting it that got to him.

And he was in love with him. This beautiful, talented, bright boy was in love with Min Yoongi. And that took the cake above all else.

The more hopelessly in love with Yoongi he was, the more wonderfully beautiful was the outcome.

~

It's not that Yoongi lacked empathy. He wasn't some sick psychotic monster or terrible human being. He was normal, sobs wrenching through his throat when his precious, lovable dog of seven years died. He clenched onto his best friend Namjoon when the boy's father passed away, the hurt of his friend getting to his own chest as tears streamed down his cheeks. His heart frequently swelled with joy and happiness and love. He admired beautiful things and yawned with exhaustion many times a day. His heart was capable of processing and receiving emotions as perfectly as anyone else.

It's just that to him,

Park Jimin was a different story.

His brain dissociated him from every other empathetic feeling he was capable of possessing. He sat in a different section of his mind, his thoughts jumbled and completely separated from his heart when it came to this boy.

He had watched him go through every fashion trend each change of hairstyle because he could never make up his mind, Yoongi witnessing the emotions he plastered on top of his head in the form of dye. He had become so accustomed to Jimin being there, to breaking him that it was natural. Jimin in his life was normal, and breaking him was never out of the ordinary.

Min Yoongi had hurt Park Jimin a total of eight times within their seventeen years of living, all throughout periods of time coated in love and deceptions.

And his elegant, white locks that he pulled at when he was growing stressed and tiresome and heart that started tugging for something more,

was ready for the ninth.

-

first chapter.

im loving this so far. i hope you are too. more background and stuff comes soon so :))

please enjoy the next 2 chapters i posted. i guess theyre kind of like a bigger teaser since therez 13 all together and i only posted 3. but i hope they are good enough to hook you guys <3