depressed texting » larry [FINISHED]

text twenty three

louis: hiiiiiiiiiiii harry !!!

harry: hi louis

louis: how r u today ?

harry: i'm ok

harry: i've thought about it and i think i might tell u 

harry: today ... i just hope u don't hate me after

louis: of course i'm not gonna hate !!

louis: duhhh

louis: but shoot

harry: ok

harry: erm

harry: so. my mum left me and my dad alone when she found out he was cheating on her ... and i wanted to go with her but she said she didn't have enough money for the two of us. so it was alright after then. of course i got sad about their divorce stuff but i was 12 so i forgot about it soon

harry: but then when i started thinking i was gay everything just went down ... my dad caught me kissing a boy bc we were experimenting. he was my best friend at that point and i just wanted to know if i was really gay or not ... when my dad caught us he got so mad, louis.

harry: like, he even got me out of the school and i started being homeschooled bc he didnt want me to interact with other boys, afraid that id turn really into a 'disgusting fag' ... he told me repeatly how it was fucking wrong and how it was disgusting but he also hugged me and told me he would fix me so i didn't think anything was wrong

harry: but then when my 16th anniversary came up he made me hook up with a prostitute, louis ! a prostitute ! just so i could lose 'any piece of faggot i had' i refused though. not only bc i still liked boys and only boys but bc i didn't want to. i didn't want to fuck anyone when i was only 16 and i certainly didnt want my dad to watch it ...

harry: when i refused, he beat the shit out of me. like, really beat me up. i was bleeding and i remember thinking i was gonna pass out and never wake up again. i remember smiling at the thought and i think thats when the depressed/suicidal thing really started, u know ? so i was beaten up, bleeding in the ground and then my dad took my clothes off and the girl that had been watching everything started ... you know

harry: she didnt even call the cops or anything, or even help me ... she just got pleasure out of it while i was about to pass out ... after that, my dad beats me up everyday and calls me names ... sometimes it gets too loud or he hits me too hard and i pass out but i've never had to go into the hospital or anything ...

harry: i know i'm disgusting and a disgrace, but please don't leave me 

harry: u and mikey (my ex best friend u know, that one i talked about) are the ones who talk to me and ... care a bit. i'm sorry for being too clingy and too annoying and i'm sorry for being me but please don't leave me ...

louis: oh harry

louis: pls don't be fucking sorry for what they did to u !! they raped u !! ur dad hits u !! calls u names and u still apologize ?

louis: fuck

louis: i thought u were being bullied or something but i never thought about this possibility

louis: i'm so sorry baby

louis: look, can't u tell the police ? how long has it been since then ?

harry: one year ...

louis: i think u can still go to the cops and tell them baby

louis: pls just dont hurt urself and hate urself for it

louis: have u thought about seeing a therapist ?

harry: i cant

harry: dad wont let me 

louis: oh baby

louis: when did u start ... u know, cutting ?

harry: the first time ? it was three days after when dad found out about the kiss ... i had finally left the school and i was so sad and felt so lonely and then i remembered about it bc i'd hard people talking about it and everything so i experimented it and it actually felt good ...

harry: i then started doing it like 2 or 3 times a day everyday, small cuts just in my hips but then i got so sad, like too sad after a time .. it was before my 16th birthday and i started cutting deeper, after that day i just became addicted to it and sometimes burn ocasionally

harry: please don't think i'm an attention whore ... i know i am but if u also think that i am that then u'll leave and i don't want u to. and i know i'm being selfish and we havent ever met but i just really like you. as a friend.

louis: harry, u need to stop hurting urself tbh please

louis: and of course i wont leave u !! ur not an attention whore !! ur just a sweet boy with a big heart that has been mistreated by life and destiny

louis: i promise i wont leave u. i wont ever break ur heart.

harry: i dont think u can break a heart that is already broken though :|

louis: look haz, i love you as a friend. ur important to me and i'm really fucking sorry about that happening to you. really i am. i love you. dont hurt yourself please, though. it could go wrong, and this will get better soon , harry.

harry: how soon, though ?

harry: i dont think i can take this for any longer ...

louis: please, do it. for you and for me and for mikey whoever that is. do u like him, btw ? maybe liking someone and being with them will help u 

harry: he's just a friend ... i do like someone though, i think

louis: well, u should defo tell him or something, but i gotta go now alright ?

louis: promise not to do anything stupid ?

harry: promise ...

louis: ok i care about u haz a lot, bye xxxxx

harry: bye, louis. thank you

louis: ur welcome baby :) xxxxxx

harry: (: x

[A/N: dedication goes to @HappyCrazyMofo bc her joke made me laugh a lot and bc i'm really glad i made her superhappy x6 :D ]