Lovesick Fool

The slow path

“Jay!? What the fuck!?” I screamed, ignoring his dubious eye roll and my sister’s head poking around the door to see what was going on – no doubt she was enjoying this.        

            “What, not even a hug?” he grinned, holding out his arms.

            The damn bastard expected way too many things from me. I would not give him the satisfaction! However, my body seemed to have second thoughts as my feet moved towards him heading towards his familiar scent. Traitor. Sighing, I accepted his hug pressing my face into his chest and forcing myself not to get lost in his touch. After all, he was still a douche.

            I moved back hoping to escape the furnace that was his body but the git had other ideas and held fast to me. “You can let go now,” I muttered, trying to show irritation rather than want.

             I felt a deep rumble resonate under my ear as he chuckled at my line. Clearly he knew what he was doing to me. “You love it really,” he teased, arms still wrapped around my shoulders.

            Really? The ‘L’ word? Trying not to freeze at the word I pushed him, maybe a little harder than necessary but it did the job. His mocha eyes flashed with hurt for the briefest of seconds before he was grinning like a smug idiot again. “What do you want?” I asked, staring down at the floor – looking into his eyes would send me over the edge.

            “I told you –Tennis Courts,”

            I stared at him incredubuosly giving him my best ‘what the fuck’ look. “Seriously?”

            Jay stared at me like I had grown another head and shook his head, tsk-ing as he did. “Have you already forgotten my heart-wrenching request?”

             I continued to gape at him honestly thinking he had lost his mind this time. First the word-that-must-not-be-named, now he attempts to pluck at my heartstrings with twisting my confession? Messed up. Cussing under my breath at my small will, I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out shooting a quick ‘back soon’ over my shoulder. He owed me for this.

Xxx

 

The tennis courts were like the local waterhole for most of the ‘chavs’. The chances of actually playing tennis there were slim and it was only natural that Jay decided it would be the best place to ‘talk’. It was only around the corner from where I lived meaning that I should have spent less time in awkward silence and more time actually talking and sorting the situation out (like that would happen anyway!) However, the Fates were so cruel and decided against it. Whilst they were at it they decided that Jay should have an overgrown and cocky/confident mind set which was why he was currently holding my hand. Damn Fates.

              Casually, so as not to cause suspicion (and make it look like I was gaping!), I took a quick peek at him which just fuelled my rage! Why were all the – relatively – hot ones jerks? I swear it’s only a men’s thing!

            Ahead, I could see the tennis courts in the dim and fading sun sending my stomach on a rampage (no, not cramps!). It dawned on me, halfway through my analysis of my nerves, that Jay hadn’t uttered a single word since we left. Trust me, so unlike him! I glanced over and generally – but not literally – thought I would piss myself.

            His face was set, reminding me of those depressing statues you only see at museums (albeit, he was not nude) It scared the crap out of me!

            Before I had known it we were on the back courts, away from the ones who actually played, and his hand had left mine. I have to say, the latter had my insides churning dangerously and that was never a good sign.

            “Listen,” he started, diving right into the conversation, (another bad omen) “It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just I’m not looking to be in a relationship at the moment,”

            I nodded, listening tentatively. To be honest, I just wanted to go home and read the next instalment of ‘Bleach’. However, he did have a fair point; I couldn’t force him and anyway I wasn’t looking for a relationship either despite what my hormones made me do at the time of the text! As I said, that was just a ‘spur of the moment’ thing. (Although a spur of what I have no idea!) Either way, I was content with his answer. I watched as he opened his mouth and sighed internally – he wasn’t done yet?

            “And anyway,” he continued. “I’d get harassed for being a supposed ‘pedo’ and I’ve got my studies to think about,”

            Pedo. Studies . . . Studies!? Since when did this guy care about fucking studies!?

            He should have kept his mouth shut.

            Right now, I was torn between punching his face or kicking him in the balls. I believe balls were the way I was swinging towards.

            And pedo? Oh, of course it’s all about him and how this and that would affect him not anyone else. There was a bloody 4 year difference not 40! Fucking cunt. What happened to being strong and defending yourself anyway, which I distinctively remember him telling me about 20 times.

            Jay saw the sudden change in atmosphere (probably because I was emitting a dark and murderous aura) and backed away, his mouth already trying to form words to rectify his mistake. “L-Lily, listen I-,”

            “Fuck you,” I stated lowly and calmly adding to the tsundere effect and thus freaking him out even more.

            Sharply, I turned on my heel preparing to walk back and no doubt find myself some Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream to devour. I didn’t need to look back to know that Jay was gawking at my behind, mouth hanging like a goldfish. But I just couldn’t help it   - “Studies!?” I shouted in disbelief, twirling back around to face him.

            “Yeah, well some of us actually want to get a job and have a good life,” he glared.

            I scoffed at his comment. I know it’s mean but seriously him thinking about his future and actually caring about it? No. Did he think I was born yesterday? Christ I pick the jerks and the brainless ones. What’s more, he dares to get mad? 

            “Just forget it,” he growled, now crossing his arms over his chest.

            “How can I!? You used ‘studies’ to worm your way out of this!” I screamed.

            Jays glower seemed to intensify and amidst my ire I become conscious that this was the first time we had truly fought. Truly, I didn’t think he had it in him and I thought he was a respectful person; well, it’s all coming out now!

            “Let me ask you something,” I began. “Studies or women?”

            Jay became flustered and started to stutter in the hopes he would eventually form a coherent sentence to prove his innocence. Obviously he couldn’t. Evidently, he would always be the same as the rest. “I thought so,” I retorted before turning back around and walking away.

            He didn’t call after to me to prove his virtue only meaning it confirmed that he was guilty. I don’t even think he looked at me; he was that ashamed or disgusted. At whom I couldn’t gather at the moment.

            After all we had been through though, I had to admit I thought he would come after me . . .