White Collar: An unofficial novel - part 1

Thinking

Neal was too used to get things his way to handle rejection well. It did not make the situation better when what he wanted meant so much to him. Now he faced four more years in prison. Any day he would be told what his escape would cost him in solitary. His cell looked very much like when he first arrived. When he escaped all his belongings had been removed as part of the punishment. He did not care much. In time he would get them back. Or gain new ones. It did not matter. He was not attached to any of those items in particular. When you had left your old life once with nothing but your clothes and some pocket-money and lived ready to run at short noticed ever since, you learned not to fancy things, earthly matters, too much.

One morning before they were let out for breakfast two guards turned up by his cell door, Bobby and Stuart. He liked them both, Bobby in particular. And he had made sure to respect them as guards and never tried to con any of them. These guys could make his life a misery if they wanted to.

"The board has made its decision," Bobby informed him. Neal saw on Bobby's face that this was not something he wanted to hear.

"How long?"

"Four weeks." Neal fought to keep his face neutral but he could feel the panic rising. "I'm sorry, Neal."

The cell door opened. Neal sighed and left with the two guards. Other inmates along the block wished him good luck and told him to hang on in there.

The first times he had been taken to solitary they had cuffed him with his hands on his back. He had been told it was a precaution for the safety of the guards. Those going willingly to solitary were few. Most of the inmates got there because of fighting. Over time the guards knew him well enough to know he was not violent even when in distress. Now they took him there without restrains. This time Neal had to fight the urge to run for the first time. Bobby put a hand on his shoulder.

"I know you're not happy about this, son. But don't make this worse than it has to be."

It was spooky how that man could read his mind sometimes. Probably a result of years in a profession where he had to maneuver violent men in the calmest possible manner. Neal nodded and tried to relax. If Peter had bought the deal, would he ever have punished him like this?

Bobby did a pat-down on him and Neal stepped inside the room where he would spend the next four weeks and the door shut behind him.

You could be locked up in there for your own protection. Then you got to have a TV, music and such. Neal was there to be punished. He knew he could get a book if he was lucky. All he had was a concrete box with a mattress, a toilet, and a sink. The light would be turned off at night and turned on in the morning. Food would arrive three times a day through a slot in the door. He would get an hour outdoors every day in a yard that felt more like being on the bottom of a well, but at least was a bigger area than his cell.

There were people who could handle solitary. Some did not yearn for human contact and could find their own company enough. Neal envied them. He had an impractical need for other people. What was worse was where his brain took him when he was alone with nothing else on his mind. If he had a problem to solve his brain worked on it for as long as needed, but when it was idle it was as if it went wild. Scenes from his childhood, conversations, anything sensitive could go on replay in his head until he thought he would go insane.

He had never had to spend more than two weeks there before. It had been Hell enough. Neal pulled his hands through his hair. He needed a strategy to get out of this with his mind intact. He would find a way through this.

He barely did.

A month later he was back in his empty cell and life returned to the routine it had had for almost four years. At first, he had been happy about it, being out of solitary. He had sent Peter the yearly birthday card. He did not hear from him after sending the card and did not expect to. He had not heard anything from him since their meeting almost three months ago.