I wasn't expecting you to come into my life the way you did.
I downloaded the stupid app because all my friends had it and I just wanted to troll people with it. Not long after, I was threatened with the chance of being banned, so I was forced to take my experience seriously. Then I met you.
Suddenly my whole life was filled with color, we spoke and I felt an instant connection to you as if you actually understood me. Like you meant it when you said you were interested in me.
We fell in love rather fast. I didn't care because everything was about to change for me. Life was going to be okay because I felt less alone and you made me feel like I was something more than just a speck of dust floating through space.
You made me feel so incredibly happy.
Bu you also made me feel like I had competition.
From the moments you uttered his name to me I knew that I couldn't compete with what you had with him but I wanted to try. I wanted to show you that there were people out there who cared for you and God damn did I try.
I quit a lot of my bad habits for you and tried to develop new ones. Ones that suited you.
I wanted to make you fall so deeply and madly in love with me and I was willing to change who I was for that.
You never asked me to, and I don't want to make it out like you did. You were nothing but there for me.
However, you had your flaws, your cracks, your scars.
You were like my mothers favorite flower vase that I had broken and tried to fix as a child. You were almost perfect.
In this metaphor I was the water and again, you were the vase.
Every time you insisted that I was enough, a little more of me would be poured into you, only to leak out the cracks. The cracks being him.
He was the only thing between us and I tried to defy physics in order for us to work the way we were supposed to, but in the end; I slipped through.
You began to accept the cracks. Welcome them even, But the more you accepted them and welcomed them the less I could stay.
I wanted us to work together, but it was growing impossible.
And when the time came for you to decide between keeping your cracks or being fixed and helping grow a new life with me. You decided to hold onto the past.
To wrap up this metaphor; I don't hate you. I never could. But, part of me wishes we could have worked, that we could have been a part of something beautiful.
But after all the tears and the hurt. I really hope you're happy now. I hope he makes up for causing those cracks and I hope he appreciates the sacrifice you made for him.
All in all I hope you made the right choice, and that those cracks heal over time....
I'm sorry.
