OCEANS | shirbert

XIII. The Ocean

[ Play the song for a full experience, hehe ]

CHAPTER XIII

The Ocean

in which nothing comes close to the way they need each other

Three months later

Oh, lovely month of April. What used to be a thick layer of snow had melted down into fields of flowers that had just started to bloom. The weather had statted to get slithly warmer, which gave the children from Avonlea the opportunity of enjoying the days outside, under the warmth of the sun.

Who would have thought that Anne Shirley-Cuthbert would be the only one to miss that beyond wonderful arrival of spring?

If Matthew Cuthbert had been there, he would have told her to go for infinite, never-ending walks through the filled with flowers fields.

But Matthew Cuthbert was dead.

It had been four long months without him. Anne missed her father more and more each and every day – if that was even possible. She remembered what Marilla told her the day after the funeral. "The pain will eventually go away". But it did not.

The now sixteen-year old Anne Shirley-Cuthbert rested the flower crown she had made that morning against Matthew's grave, creating a contrast of bright colours against the grey, cold stone that seemed almost artistic.

"Hello, Matthew" She wondered how many times over the past three years she had said those two words – always filled with joy. Now she felt heartbroken, and she did not like how her voice sounded when she said his name. She did not sound like her. "I'm sorry I didn't come to visit you earlier" a single tear had started to roll over her freckled face. She took a deep breath. "You must have felt so lonely, please, do forgive me for not being stronger enough to... to come and talk to you" she finally said, playing nervously with her hands. She knew that nobody had come to put flowers to his grave. Probably just Marilla or maybe Jerry. "Anyway, you'd never really enjoyed people's company apart from us, the Cuthberts" she let out a small yet sad chuckle, the memory of his adoptive father and his social awkwardness made her heart soften. "Nothing is the same anymore, Matthew" she sighed. "Marilla is so sad. Jerry barely jokes anymore... he doesn't even tease me about me liking Gil-!" she suddenly stopped at the thought of the boy. "Gilbert left" she said, caressing the cold stone grave after taking a long breath. "I don't even know where he is. Rachel Lynde says he got an job as an auxiliary doctor in some other town. Sounds thrilling." she took a look around the graveyard, making sure that nobody was around, for the words she was about to say were ones that she had been keeping for herself for a long time. "I miss him dearly, Matthew" she admitted. And it felt good, saying it outloud. "I wish I could go back in time and change the way I treated him" she sobbed. "Oh, Matthew! I've always treated him so poorly! I wish I could show him how highly I truly think of him!"

I bet he doesn't want to know about me.

I bet he doesn't even think about me.

She took her favourite novel in the whole world, Jane Eyre, that first edition that Gilbert had given her last summer. She wanted to read some of her favourite passages outloud. Matthew was, apart from Diana and Ruby, the only person who enjoyed Anne's passionate reading.

And Gilbert.

Gilbert had asked her a few times to read outloud for him – he said she had some kind of gift for such things related to literature. She missed him. I wonder where you are, she thought, as she lifted her eyes to the clear blue sky.