What is love? (Manxman) On hold

Chapter 1:

WHAT IS LOVE?

   "What is love?" I had asked my mother once when I was a child, the woman had looked at me and took a long drag from her fag and puffed out that fowl smelling smoke from her parted lips, "Love?" she asked I nodded my head as I picked up empty beer cans and other trash from the floor. My mother threw her head back and stared at the ceiling as it would give her the answer, time ticked on and she still hadn't answered my question. I was about to leave when she called my name, "CJ" she said I came to a halt my back facing her and my eyes on the floor, "love," she said "Love is nothing but an imagination, an emotion we force... convince ourselves to feel".

Twelve years later and her definition of love still rang in my head like a church bell on Sunday morning. I picked up my shot glass and downed the cool liquid in it; I winced at the bitter sweet taste of the cocktail burnt as it ran down my throat, my eyes moved to my so-called date, the man was blabbing about something that I really didn't give shit about; from what I could grasp when he started talking I knew he was talking about the stock market.

I waved the nearest waiter and ordered another shot, my date...mike, terry, I can't remember his name looked at me with disgust when I took another shot; it was my fifth, seventh... I cannot remember all I knew was the alcohol was helping me get through this damn date.

"So enough about me, what about you?" he asked finally I mentally screamed don't get me wrong the guy was hot, cute even but he was a talker and he only talked about himself. "I am a writer" I said stirring the clear alcohol liquid in my cup with a tiny straw, the guy frowned, "Writer?" he asked I hummed in response lifting my shot glass and staring at the tiny bubbles that formed at the bottom, I giggle to myself bottom. "Why do you have problem with writers?" I asked placing the glass back on the table; my date shook his head "No! Not at all. It's just that I don't think writing is a profession... it should be a hobby" Hobby! "It's a profession and a good one at that. I love my job" I retorted my date quickly mumbled an apology and went on with his food then he looked at me and smiled "So um ... tell me more about you" and that I did, I told him about me and my life, my job, my dog and at the end of the date he promised to call. Pft, I knew he was lying no one ever called back, I am not ugly or anything, I wasn't stunning or beautiful either I was just me. I stared at my reflection in some shop window, I stared at my light chestnut brown hair that I inherited from my mum's side of the family and my blue eyes that I inherited from my sperm donor, my mother never spoke about him and I stopped asking when I realised I could never get anything out of her, the only thing I got from my mother was my height, she wasn't short nor tall she was average in height and I inherited that.

I turned away from my reflection and continued walking I came to a halt at the bus stop, yes I took the bus and I was happy cause didn't spend gas on some useless date, it's been my no 1 rule never drive my car to any date not even if I had a date with the president. The 9 o'clock bus pulled up and I got in and swiped my card at the entrance once it beeped I made my way to the back seat which thankfully was empty I was in no mood to deal with anyone. I rested my head against the window and let out a sigh, I watched as the bus drove past building and people, when the bus stopped my eyes settled on a cute couple in front of a 24/7 café. The man leaned over the table and placed a kiss on the lady's lips, I watched as the woman giggled, their eyes twinkled and I won't lie I felt some sort of pang in my chest. The bus started moving and I was grateful I didn't want to see another happy couple so I dug my hands into my coat and pulled out my phone and tapped on the instagram app, I scowled down taking in pictures of celebrities and hot men (don't judge), and liking them.

Not long the bus stopped at my stop and I got down and trek to my apartment complex. As soon as I opened the door Milo, my golden retriever came bursting into the door way, his big slobbery tongue hanging out form his mouth, I smiled and went on my knees my arms open wide to receive him, once he was in my arms he swiped his tongue on my cheek making me giggle "where you a good boy?" I asked petting his head, Milo barked in response, his tail wagging back and forth furiously I smacked my lip on his fury head and got up from the ground. I toed off my shoes and slipped my sock covered feet into my fluffy comfy house slippers and padded into the living room where I wasted no time and crashed on the grey coloured couch, Milo jumped on the couch walking in circles before he settled beside me, his head on my lap. The only shows on were romantic shows so I had no choice but to watch, I settled for a romcom: Crazy rich Asians and I had to admit Nick young is sexy AF. By the time the movie ended I was in tears, the good kind that is. I was happy they ended up together, I rested the back of my head on the back of the couch whilst my fingers raked through Milo's fur and stared at the plain white ceiling, "What is love?" I asked Milo lifted his head from my lap and stared at me with those big chocolate orbs and whimpered, I let out a sad laugh "I am okay" I said assuring my dog. I don't know when I fell asleep all I know is I did and when I woke up the stupid ass sun was shining on my face.

Author's note: Konichiwa, another book. I hope you liked this chappie, pls don't be shy and vote, comment even pitch in ideas . Thanks for reading,

Love R.