Kinky FanFic (18+, but not really)

Prompt: Herbert the Pervert

"Why hello sweetie, would you like a lollipop? "

And the little girl went ¨no fuck you¨ and kicked him in the balls. Then she ran away.

But that couldn't stop him from getting in his white van, all rusty crusty and old, while clenching his balls.His ass cheeks were clenched tightly together, it kind of looked like cottage cheese, especially since his ass cheeks never saw a day of light.

She came back with a giant ass machine gun connected to her motorcycle, and at one point while she was riding, the motorcycle tipped over because how fucking big the machine gun was.. So, naturally, she pulled out her pistol from her coochie. Her mission now was to torture and kill Herbert the pervert, who eat sherbert. She knows where he is most of the time, in the school bushes stalking little hoes with horse faces or ones that look like rats, with a camel toe so tight it look like ball sacks. But she was better than those other girls and she wanted to prove it. She secretly had a penis and a vagina. That was one of the things that made her better. Her penis was actually a candy cane so after a good sucking, you stayed with good breath. The best of all, she couldn’t get pregnant. Even better, she was so flexible, she could suck her own candy cane. She also was half demon, half vampire, half mermaid, half werewolf, half bigfoot, half asian, half alien, half angel, half god, half satan, half superhero, half ginger, and half helicopter. She cut out the white part of her, because no one liked her mom anyway. Her mom was a redneck white girl. She made her own booze. Her mom also married her own brother because it was true love. The girl had silver hair that shined like metal, and purple eyes that she got from a disease or disfunction. She has a heart problem, but she’s really strong and buff and has a 16 pack of hot dogs. She slim thick too, with triple Ds. She had 3 tits. She also had secret tentacles. So that’s how she’s better than everyone and why she’s beating up Herbert the Pervert. She’s also an assassin, and she knows martial arts. And the key to happiness, which everyone thought was a myth. The only thing she isn’t happy with is her looks, depression, anxiety, that she diagnosed herself, and She was abused as a child for her looks. She went through a traumatic event and saw her own brother’s cousin’s sister’s friend’s uncle’s fish, Willy, die. She killed him with her own thumb because she’s that powerful. When she shoved it down it's throat, her own pinky .But her one secret, the weapon that can completely destroy her was that she was a pole dancer