hate & other words || h.s au

ten

So I close the book I'm reading, but not before I place a bookmark in between the pages because I'd hate myself if I lose the page, and tell Adam everything that my mum told me last night as well as everything I said to Harry. Being the good listener that he is, he listens intently and not once does he interrupt me mid-story. And whilst I do appreciate that, I can't help but to wonder what's going on in his mind.

"...I'm reading too much into things, aren't I?" I conclude, repeating Harry's words from last night. I wasn't happy when he said that to me but he had a point.

"Maybe," Adam replies as he scratches his jaw. Looking at him, I can tell he has something else to say. So I wait and as expected, he adds, "Or maybe you're finally realising it."

"Realising what?" I ask, to which he shoots me a knowing look like I'm supposed to figure it out on my own. Not in the mood for games, I ask again. "No, seriously. Realising what?"

"That you two are actually soulmates," Adam says matter-of-factly with a hint of a smug grin on his lips. I want to tell him that he isn't the first one to say or even think of that but I decide against it.

"That's ridiculous," I retort. I pick up my book and open it, averting my eyes to the page I last read to avoid Adam's eyes. "You need to get your head checked, Ad. But maybe do that after you've finished changing the books at the window displays."

"Look at you changing the subject," Adam calls me out on my bullshit and I can feel blood rushing to my ears, turning the tips of my ears from the colour of my skin to bright red. I've been called out numerous times by Adam before, but I can tell that this time he's not letting me off the hook that easily. I suspect that he's grown tired of having to hear both Harry and I whine about each other or about our current situation to him so now he wants to put a stop to it. "Don't act like that thought didn't cross your mind. I'm sure it has. At least once."

Adam is a fun person to hang with, he really is, and oftentimes I enjoy being around him. But right now I'd rather be left alone. Inquisitive Adam annoys me. Inquisitive plus mind-reader Adam? I want that Adam to disappear. Especially when he says,

"Is it such a bad thing if Harry is your soulmate and not your worst enemy?"

"Yes!" I snap, though I didn't mean to. And then without really thinking, I add, "Even if I do accept that he's not my enemy, it doesn't change the fact that he has two tattoos. There's a huge possibility that I'm not his soulmate. Sarah Turner is."

Whilst that idea has crossed my mind plenty of times (each time I would shove it into a box, lock it and push it to the back of my mind, and then remind myself that Harry and I are enemies), I've never admitted it out loud. Not to myself. Not to anyone. Now that it's out in the open, the words hanging in the air between Adam and I, I wish I could take it all back. But it's too late. And as much as I hate to admit it, it feels good to be able to talk about it.

But then Adam casts me a sympathetic look and I realise that talking to him about this is a bad idea. So before any words could leave his mouth, I point a finger at him and say, "And please don't tell anyone about this. You said I could talk to you and I did."

"Don't worry." He smiles. "Your secret's safe with me."

"Thank you."

Instead of leaving me alone like I thought he would since I've told him what's on my mind, he remains standing in front of me, studying me. I quirk an eyebrow at him. "What'd you say if I tell you that there's also a huge possibility that Sarah's not Harry's soulmate?"

My heart reminds me of its existence behind my ribcage. I hold my breath and hope that my heartbeat isn't as loud to Adam as it is to me. Despite what's going on in my chest, I put on my poker face and roll my eyes at him. "I'd say that you're mad and you need to get back to work."