I'm Not A Robot [✔️]

Onze

"Thanks Lucas..~"

He managed to make me smile a little.

I closed my eyes and soon drifted off to sleep, only to find myself in another form of my nightmares.

-

Why is it raining this time???

'follow me'

I saw a small bright light in the distance, in the form of some type of animal. It started walking away, so I followed it.

The more I followed it, the more the rain started to disappear. But instead of it just being a black nothingness, everything started to turn a light grey.

The flat ground then suddenly became wet and cold. My surroundings became cold too. It's snowing????

'stop'

The small bright light was gone, and replaced with a small fox.

"What are you??"

The fox said nothing and just laid in the snow.

I gave up and just sat down next to it.

'look'

It looked up to the sky, so I did as well.

But upon looking up at the completely black sky, I was both appalled and confused by what I was looking at.

"What is that...?"

'you'

"M-Me???"

'you struggle to accept the two halves of yourself. as a result, you're in a constant state of fluctuating self hate. you can't be truly complete until you accept both halves of yourself'

"My human and robot halves..."

The fox stayed silent and continued to look.

"But how do I accept both halves of myself in the world that I live in? There are people after me to use me for destruction. It's hard to accept the robot part of me, since it's targeted to be used for bad things..."

'the first step to accepting yourself is to accept the bad things on the outside, and learn how to live with that knowledge. being at peace with those things will start to make you whole'

"..."

'after accepting who you are now, your two halves will start to fuse together, completely making you whole. learn to love yourself for who you are jaemin. it's the only way for you to become stronger'

It got up and started walking away.

"Wait! What do you mean it's the only way to become stronger?! Where are you going?! Come back!"

I got up to chase after it, but the snow started to pick up and I tripped.

I quickly got up to go after the fox, but it was gone, and the snow was getting heavier.

I ran around to try and find it for ages, but it was no use. I fell to my knees in defeat, and felt tears leaving my eyes.

-

When I finally opened them, it was completely dark again, but there was a small candle light in front of me.

I picked it up, and it felt really comforting, and made me smile.

Looking at the candle light made me feel safe, and somewhat at peace. Maybe accepting myself for what, and who, I am now may not be so hard.

Maybe...

-

The Next Day
9am

-

I woke up feeling somewhat at peace, seeing the light of the sun shining into my room.

I sat up and picked up a picture that I had taken with the others a long while ago. Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Donghyuck, Chenle, and Jisung were all hugged up with me, and Doyoung and Taeyong were in the back behind us.

I remember that it was the day when they won that huge Ryan plushie for me. We were all smiling in the picture. I can't remember if this was before or after the accident, but I know that without the eight of them, I'd never be as happy as I am now.

And it made me realize what the fox meant about becoming stronger.

"...Strength to protect what matters~"