Sincerely, Me - Starrison

Sincerely, Me (Musical Version)

Dear Richard Starkey
We've been way too out of touch
Things have been crazy
And it sucks that we don't talk that much

But I should tell you that
I think of you each night
I rub me nipples
And start moaning with delight

Ringo shrieked, snapping the laptop shut. "John!"

"What?" John's lips curled into a smirk, obviously pressed together to prevent his laughter. "Something wrong?"

"Why would you write that?!"

"I'm just trying to tell the truth."

"This needs to be perfect, okay?" He re-opened the laptop, biting his nails. "These e-mails have to prove that we were actually friends! Just, I'll do it!"

I've gotta tell you, life without you has been hard

"Hard?" John butted in.

Has been bad

"Bad?"

Has been rough

"Kinky!"

And I miss talking about life and other stuff

"Very specific." John idly twirled a pencil between his fingers. "A+ work there, Shakespeare."

Ringo ducked his head and continued typing. "Shut up!"

I like me parents

He snorted, dropping the pencil. "Who says that?"

"Ugh!" He spammed the hell out of the backspace key.

I love me parents
But each day's another fight
If I stop smoking drugs
Then everything might be alright

"Smoking drugs?" John hummed, amused. "You think he can hook me up? Oh yeah, he's dead."

Ringo threw his hands up, shoving him into the chair. "Just fix it!"

If I stop smoking crack

"Crack?!"

If I stop smoking pot
Then everything might be alright
I'll take your advice, I'll try to be more nice
I'll turn it around, wait and see

'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention
It's easy to change if you give it your attention
All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you want to be
Sincerely, Me

John leaned back, admiring their (mostly his) work. "Nice, beautiful. Are we done yet?"

"Oh." Ringo rubbed his knuckles together. "Well, I can't just give them one e-mail. I want to show that I was, like, a good friend, you know?"

"Oh, god!" He threw his head back in laughter. "Fine, knock yourself out!"

Dear George Harrison
Yes, I also miss our talks
Stop doing drugs
Just try to take deep breaths and go on walks

"No, you don't tell a man to not do drugs and gay shit like that." John took a blunt out of his pocket and lit it up.

I'm sending pictures of the most amazing trees

"No!"

You'll be obsessed with all me forest expertise

"Absolutely not!"

Lad, I'm proud of you
Just keep pushing through
You're turning around, I can see
Just wait and see

'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention
It's easy to change if you give it your attention
All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you want to be
Sincerely, Me

ME SISTER'S HOT

"What the hell?!"

"Me bad."

Dear Richard Starkey
Thanks for every note you send
Dear George Harrison
I'm just glad to be your friend

Our friendship goes beyond
Your average kind of bond
But not because we're gay
No, not because we're gay

"Yeah, right!" John giggled, exhaling.

We're close, but not that way
The only man that I love
Is me dad

Well anyway
You're getting better every day
I'm getting better every day
Keep getting better every day

"Hey, hey, hey, hey!" George suddenly crawled out of the computer screen.

"JOHN!" Ringo shouted. "LOOK!"

"Oh, you see him too? I thought I was just tripping. How long until this takes effect?"

"'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention
It's easy to change if you give it your attention
All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you want to be

Sincerely
Miss you dearly
Sincerely, Me!"

Ringo shrugged. "Sincerely, Me!" he sang.

"Sincerely, Me
Sincerely, Me!" George saluted, then faded away. The two family friends sat in silence for a bit, wondering if that had actually happened.

"You know," John coughed, "that was pretty sick. I'm gonna go bust out the ouija board."

"Please don't!" Ringo begged.

"Aw, scared of a little ghost?" he cooed. "I'll be right back."

"Hey, don't leave me here with it!" His blue eyes searched the room wildly. "Dammit."