Feeling pain

Leaving

I'm scared to die but even more to live
I'm terrified of tomorrow
Will you hit me or laugh at me
Which will you chose
It's too much for me no more I beg you please
My body's already sore and my head hurts
Your words repeating they can't seem to leave
The pain is consistent it's like a crazy ex that won't leave
I just want some peace it's all I ever desired
I want to be alone I don't want you near
Everyone always leaves no one ever stays
I'm all alone in this world no one by my side
People come and go no forevers in reality
Only fairy tales get happy endings and it's the real world I live in
Not everyone is happy not everyone is alright
Most smiles are faked and most people are dead
Dead inside can't feel emotion nothing but lifeless creatures exist
Is it that bad to wish I was ok
To wish I was like the happy people
The ones who can't stop smiling
The ones with no tears
The ones who don't know how to be sad
The ones who are always in a good mood
The ones who are loved
The ones who are wanted
The ones who have a life
The ones who never cried themselves to sleep not even one night
But such wish coming true is impossible it really is
I wish it wasn't but it is nothing good could ever happen to me
I'm sorry but this world is just not my place
I don't belong here these people aren't for me
I hate to go this way down the path of suicide
But I must leave this place before I feel anymore pain
I can't take no more it's all too much for me
I can't deal with the pain I'm no fighter
I came into the world with no purpose to serve
With no mountain to climb
And no hope to ever survive
So now I say this once and for all
I'm sorry for leaving this way but I now say goodbye