✨MoonStar's Book Of Randomness✨

Just a Chat...

So....

Most of you probably remember the message I put out asking if you feel like you can't do anything without people judging you.....

I wanna talk about how I'm feeling right now, Just to see if I can talk about it with you guys before I can actually say it to my family....

Cause I basically keep everything that happend this year bottled up.....

This will also explain why my books aren't updating and why I've been slow on the new books and not releasing what I promised...

So...

As most of you might've known... I was a cheerleader....

And you guys know I'm a Theater kid....

Last year was my freshman year of High school and I did Cheer and Theater.... And I made it out completely fine....

I was able to manage school, Cheer, and Theater perfectly with no problems because they were at seperate times....

I'm a Sophmore at the current moment.....

And this year.....

Really knocked me down...

I started the year off perfectly fine....

I went back into cheer....

But I was beginning to stress a lot about where the games were or things being scheduled and rescheduled.....

And So Theater came....

And Let me tell you... It wasn't great...

Practices and Rehersals would be at the same time, Comp season for cheer was starting...

Oooh boy that had me everywhere....

I cried because of all the stress... I've cried so many times....

Finally... December 10th 2018....

I left cheer....

Talked to my coach and turned in my uniforms and bows the next day....

I left because I was stressed and I wanted to work on my school work....

But....

There's a bit of information I hid from everyone.... Another real reason I quit....

Sure, It was still true I quit because of school work and stuff....

But I also quit because.....

Theater kids... Don't like cheerleaders... In my mind they don't....

I would be the cheerleader in the room with my cast and whenever my teammates would be in the halls getting ready....

The cast would immediately back away from them like....

"Ew Cheerleaders" "Cheerleaders are such drama" "I'm not going anywhere near them"

And those words got to me....

They forget I'm right there, a cheerleader as well....

So....

I left so I didn't have to feel like what they said....

To blend in with the theater kids....

Because of this I've felt down for awhile.... Not too down tho....

That's why I felt like I can't do anything without being judged....

But...

There's more....

I have a friend who's In Marching band who's been begging me to join Color guard for a year...

Not exaggerating....

So there's a friend of hers who's in color guard and also asked me to...

That girl knew i did cheer....

She even said cheerleaders are drama....

I feel like I can't do anything because people are pulling me in different Directions...

Telling me what to join, what to do, what not to do.....

"Auditon for this play"

"Join color guard...."

"Cheerleaders are drama, Don't join them..."

"No don't do colorguard"

I can't do anything without being told that I should join something else.....

I felt so down because of all this....

My mom has asked If I would drop out and Do Online school or Keep going....

I said Keep going cause Unlike a lot of people I know who have dropped out to do online...

I'm actually gonna stay and actually graduate....

She's even asked If I've been bullied...

Answer Is no....

She's asked If I ever felt depressed....

Honestly... I said yes cause I haven't felt myself in a while....

I also tend to stay in my room and draw a lot.... Literally it's to the point where my mom is gonna lock me out of my room so I can't go in.....

So yeah....

I feel like I can't do anything because I feel like at my school, It's join one thing and stick to it.....

And Because of all of this....

I haven't updated my books.... I'm sorry if I'm slow and Haven't released the new stack like I promised....

So.....

Yeah.....

Moral of the story....

Highschool sucks, Sophmore year sucks and I hope this year can burn....

If you also struggle with this....

Stay strong.... Hope it gets better.....

Push through....

Anyway... That's all...

Later...

MoonStar~