FALLEN (NOW PUBLISHED ON AMAZON)

57.

After everything that has happened in my life recently, my difficult break up with Steeve, me kissing Marcel, spending the entire night dancing, having fun and watching Titanic together, to have him turning back cold as soon as he drops me and all of my stuff at Sophie's and ignoring me now, Ashley is my worry-free zone. He helps me let go of my worries. He shows me how to have a good time. He makes me laugh like I never have before. It's a different dynamic than the last five years of my life. I'm thankful for him.

"Do you know how horny you make me feel right now?" I murmur sensually to him, biting the side of his ear very gently.

I hear him chuckle and in that delightful moment, I take in his scent. It's a perfect balance of a floral detergent, musk and a little sweat. It arouses me a lot. It's a scent very personal to him and it will always inspire me comfort. Ashley nevers asks anything of me.

"Playing video games?"

"Just by being so unproblematic. If I knew the boys were out, I would fuck you right now."

The response is immediate. He presses pause in a hurry and turns around to face me. He rushes his lips to mine. And it makes me laugh a moment, the time for our kiss to sync together. His behaviour brings me life, even though it was kind of expected. I love how genuinely he feels everything. He's so adorable and it makes me swoon entirely.

"Then we'll have to rearrange the situation." He gets up and tugs on my hand to pull me out of the living room/kitchen to get me to his room. We stop by the wall, where he presses his entire body against mine, grinding against me as he holds me captive with his kiss. He reaches blindly to his door knob and the old wooden door creaks as it opens.

I grin as I look the way to Mikey's door, being pulled in Ash's bedroom by its impatient and sexy master. I step back two steps and collide with the bed loudly. The metal springs echoe strongly in the room, but it doesn't seem to tame Ash's lust.

I sit on the bed and part my legs to pull him to me. I tug on his shirt and he gets it immediately off him. I reach for his bum and lean my lips to his hairy blond torso. He doesn't let me explore his body very much, he combs my hair out of my face with both of his hand, pushing my back to the mattress as he climbs on my lap.

After being very expressive in our little act of carnal pleasure, I lay silently next to his sweaty and naked body, still observing his fingers, but now, I'm toying with his hand. I run my thumbs along his palm and massage the tension in his calloused hand. His skin is so soft on the top and so rough under. It's interesting.

He looks at me making of circus of myself with his hand, but he doesn't say a thing. When I have rubbed every muscle, every knuckle, I close it on mine and bring it to my lips to kiss. I look up and meet his eyes. They are so kind, and it's so easy to read kindness in them.

For the first time in a very long time, I feel good about myself. I feel valued, by Ashley and by myself. For the first time in my life, I am treated as an equal in a relationship, whatever our relationship might be.

"When you guys are done shooting your porno, would you please come and help me move the instruments to our van? Dressed would be appreciated, thank you!" We hear Mikey say, and normally I would panic to have had an audience, but it makes Ash laugh with such childish amusement that I can't help but to join along.

***

I hold his hand in both of mine and rub my thumb on the silky skin. I'll miss him, but it's better to have a soft break than to drag along feelings that will never be.