the whole flight was a blur. all i could think about, it was never what i wanted. the white noise rang in my ear. i missed the sanctuary. the lack of anxiety. knowing what would come next. i couldn't believe it.
i had watched about 3 movies already. i sighed and turned off my monitor. was i tired? yes. could i sleep? no.
all i could do is think. about a new life, new opportunities, new friends.
i sat and kept thinking. was this my best choice? how will i manage? will i have regrets? my eyes reflected the yellow light of the seatbelt sign. i felt them get heavy, and finally felt my body release.
"hello, i hope all of you are having a wonderful flight. this is captain geong jimyeong, who is being assisted by captain ahn gguksu. thank you for flying with American Airlines today. we will be arriving shortly to incheon international airport. if you have a further destination, please take the following subways. if you're destination is busan, you will take subway 2. gwacheon is subway 4, and seoul is subway 1. please stay seated, and enjoy the rest of your flight."
i rolled my eyes and felt myself fall back into sleep. after what seemed like a few minutes, i felt the plane hit the ground.
my heart was racing.
after we had parked at the gate i finally rolled my carry on luggage to the arrivals. i called a taxi and made my way to the subway station.
the train ride would be less than 15 minutes so i thought that would be a better option than driving to gwacheon with the taxi. i boarded the train with my ticket, and finally arrived to my destination.
my grandparents stood outside the train station, my grandmother waving furiously at me.
my grandma and i were very close, she always took care of me when we lived in korea. she fed me, she bathed me, she was a mother to me. my grandfather on the other hand, would be the one to go out with my parents while my grandmother took care of me. he didn't care much for me. if anything, he was only there because his wife dragged him with her.
"ahh, sonnyeo! i missed you!! how are you? have you eaten? did you sleep?"
"gwaenchanha, halmeoni. how are you? you look tired! i could ask the same thing about you!"
my grandfather stayed silent.
my grandmother grinned at me, and took my hand. "jagi, carry her suitcase will you?, i bet she's tired."
"she can carry it herself, she depends on other people too much anyways."
my grandmother shot a glare at him.
"fine."
he snatched my suitcase handle out of my hand and rolled it behind him, a sour look on his face.
although getting settled into my dorm should've been on my mind, all i could think about was my new school, relevantly close to my grandparent's house. my parents had signed me up for this school last minute. they've always expected more of me. explains why i'm attending a premier boarding school.
my grandfather always agreed with my parents.
"she depends on other people too much anyways."
i guess why that's the reason they sent me here. to not depend on others as much. they even went to the lengths to make sure i didn't have a roommate, just so i could learn to live on my own. dorms were scattered. "first come first serve." my parents were willing to pay "rent" for my dorm as that was how they paid in full. even though i was alone in my dorm room, i knew i would be surrounded by other students.
