Everyone keeps secrets. Sometimes, these secrets are large and hold the potential for ruining friendships. Sometimes, these secrets are small and insignificant that people hold onto because it shows that not everything is known about them. But each secret, big or small, builds a wall. The secrets stack on top of themselves, creating an impenetrable force against other human beings. Secrets divide people.
Draco started to build his own brick wall. He had always had a few bricks lying around, secrets that he refused to tell his friends. He would never tell them, for example, of the numerous dark magic books that littered his library. He would never tell them about the time that his mother made him visit his mad aunt in Azkaban. These were large bricks that had started the foundation of his tower. And this term, he built a massive tower between himself and his friends.
What was he to say to them? Every time his eyes met theirs, he thought of the promise he had made to the Dark Lord to end Dumbledore's life. Whenever he saw them, he felt the guilt prying at him. He had chosen the Dark Lord's side, not Harry's. Harry Potter was his best friend, but Draco could never tell him the truth of what he had done, of what he was going to do. How could he?
With every passing day, his brick wall grew larger, encapsulating not only Harry but Ron and Hermione as well. Ron had once believed that Draco was bad news to them, that he would never be a friend to them. He was nothing but a rich snob and for the first time in all his years of knowing Ron Weasley, he believed his friend had been correct.
Sometimes, he wondered how differently his life would have turned out had he been placed in Slytherin like his parents wanted. He would not have been Harry, Ron, and Hermione's friend, that much was certain. And perhaps, he would have thought it was an honoring to be completing this task for Lord Voldemort.
This was not an honor. It was anything but an honor. The Dark Lord would kill Draco and his mother without a moment's hesitation because of Lucius' failure. This was not an honor, this was the Dark Lord toying his followers before their inevitable death.
Draco started spending more and more of his time in the Room of Hidden Things. He could work in silence on the cabinet, away from the stress of being with his friends. He wanted to still be their friend, of course. He loved Harry, Ron, and Hermione, even if he would never tell them that. They meant so much to him. And it was because he cared so much for them that he could not face them. Not with the tower of secrets he had built to surround himself.
He started his withdrawal from his friends slowly, so slowly that they were unaware it was happening. For instance, the first night back at Hogwarts, he spoke little during dinner, choosing instead to listen to the interesting stories that his friends were giving about their summers. He spoke only when questions were directed at him, answering with as few a words as strictly necessary.
He found, the next morning, that he was not very hungry, choosing an apple for breakfast instead of eating a large meal like he had done typically in the past. He started leaving meals early to spend the extra time in the Room of Hidden Things.
Potions, which had originally been his favorite and best subject, quickly became the time away from the Room of Hidden Things. Harry was his friend, but his new proficiency at the subject was, quite frankly, incredibly annoying. Draco had desperately needed that vial of liquid luck, but Harry Bloody Potter had taken that from him.
All through that first class, he had pondered when he would take that potion and what he would have done with it. He might have taken it on a random day, appeared before the Dark Lord, taken his mother away from his clutches, and fled the country. But that would never happen because Harry had taken the vial instead of himself.
Draco, knowing it was inevitable, did not know how to tell Harry he was not going to rejoin the Quidditch team. He needed the extra time to focus on fixing the Vanishing Cabinet. It was another crater that he was creating between himself and his friends, he knew. But perhaps, it was for the best. When they learned the truth about him, a very real and soon possibility, he would prefer not to have the memories of their friendship tainted, something he knew was very near impossible.
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The Brave at Heart
Фанфик"He could only imagine what his father was going to say when he heard. Oh, he had really done it this time. His father had once told him he was a disgrace to the Malfoy name and now he really was. It wasn't supposed to have gone this way. He was sup...
