I woke up in the morning I felt like crap. It took me a while to remember why, but yesterday’s memories hit me and I groaned, suddenly, not wanting to get out of bed. I curled up into a little ball. Why was it that a bed was most warm when you had to get out of it?
“Oli,” I yawned, not even surprised at his sudden appearance. “Tell them I can’t go to school today. Go.”
He just stood there, staring at me.
“They can’t see me, idiot.”
“Well, then send them a subliminal message or something. Write it on a window. I’m not getting out of bed.”
“Not even to see Cay?”
I didn’t reply. I decided last night that I would try my best to ignore the six-foot-two boy that I had a deeper connection with than anyone else. As counter-intuitive as that might be, I had my reasons. I knew that if I got to know him any better, I would fall in love with him. And that was bad. Very bad.
I heard Oli sigh, having clearly heard my thoughts. I sensed him sit down on the edge of my bed, though the bed didn’t creak under his weight, mainly because he didn’t have any. Oli surprised me by brushing my hair out of my eyes. I looked up at him, at the soft expression in his face. His eyes seemed far too old for his youthful face. For the first time, I wondered how he’d died. Before, he’s said something like, without love he wouldn’t have died. Did that mean he’d died for love? Looking into those soulful eyes, I decided I could believe that.
“Ivy,” he sighed. “You’re far too young to avoid life. You should embrace it and face things as they come. You may fall in love with Cay, you may not. But, as Shakespeare once said, ‘it is better to have love and lost, than to have never loved at all’. Think about the way Cay can make you feel, Ivy.” His eyes were soft and sad. “Would you give that up, for a life in this lonely, isolated room?”
I stared at him for a minute, then gave in.
“It’s annoying when you’re right,” I grumbled, sitting up but holding the sheets to my torso.
“Then you’re probably annoyed most of the time.”
He disappeared before I could say anything else. I mentally cursed at him, though I didn’t know if he heard it. Sighing, I slid out of the soft, comfy bed onto the cold wooden floors and moved to my wardrobe. Sure enough, there was my uniform, soft and warm. I pressed my hand against the back of the wardrobe and felt a warm heat. There was definitely a heater behind there. I needed to get me one of those, once I got back to my world.
Do I have to go back?
I paused at this question, seriously considering it for a moment. Then I shook my head, hating myself. Of course I had to go back. I had a sister. She was probably worried sick. My foster parents too. Though I was difficult sometimes, I knew they really cared about me. But to go back, I would have to fall in love. And after I fell in love, I would have to live them. Was I really strong enough to do that?
All I knew was, if I did happen to fall in love with someone, I wouldn’t want them to love me back, because it would only hurt them when I left again.
And I wouldn’t want Cay to be hurt.
Cay?
I shook my head, again. How did his face pop into my head? I didn’t love Cay, Cay didn’t love me. There weren’t any feelings between us. We weren’t friends – barely acquaintances.
But he made you feel things that you’ve never felt before – even with Caleb.
That was true. Though Caleb and Cay were physically the same, they were completely and utterly different. Caleb was sweet, funny and cute, and we had a great time together, but Cay could make me melt with a look, make me fall in a heartbeat. If I went back to my world, I would never be able to trick myself into thinking I loved Caleb anymore. But did this mean I loved Cay?
