By Any Other Name

A List of Numbers

"This society cured you of the disease that would have taken everything from you. This society gave you shelter and food. Forgiveness and purpose. A second chance. This society, with its structures and rules, has saved all your lives despite your crimes and yet here you are chipping away at its very foundation. I will not stand for this! Vocem will not stand for this."

It was about that part in the Prophet's speech that I started to hyperventilate. I wasn't used to being talked down to, the Overseers in Division 1 hardly gave us a hard word. But here the Prophet was yelling about corruption and how we were all horrible, undermining all the good the city had done. I knew I wasn't alone in what I was doing, but it felt like he was talking right to me. My hands clenched into fists at my side. I wanted to look around the room, but I had the crazy notion that it would be as good as admitting guilt. 

So I stood there, staring straight ahead, as the new captain was introduced. I stood there frozen as she explained the list of numbers being shown to us displayed the guilt of every person. I squinted, but there were too many to see properly. Was I on there? Was Sven? 640? And then there was to be a new division doing Vocem-knows-what and we were to all be assessed for it. I didn't do well with assessments or trials. I liked my place, I didn't want to switch anywhere. 

To make matters even worse, they spoke about the number of laborers harvested being too low. My heart started thudding in my chest. I was healthy, but that could change in an instant in Division 1. Putting your hand near a machine you didn't realize was still on. Falling out of one of the orchard trees. I was safe now, but that could change in a matter of seconds. And there would be no wiggle room to get out of it. 

The crowd was growing in noise and urgency. Bodies were pressing in on me, till I felt like I was about to go under. A large hand landed on my shoulder. I squealed and looked up... to see Sev looking back at me. He leans forward to tell me something. I guessed he would be backing out of his deal. If his number wasn't on that list, helping me would definitely put it there. But before I could tell him it was fine, that I understood, our cuffs went black. And the rest of the world went black with it. 

I woke up to find myself in the middle of a thinning crowd. I sat up slowly. 

"Easy," a deep voice said. "You hit your head pretty hard." I blinked several times. Sev was kneeling beside him. I thought about the rumors about him and the cuff. Did it actually work on him? The thought died away the moment I thought about the numbers on the wall. I jumped up to look through them, but I wasn't too steady on my feet. Sev put his hand on my shoulder again. 

"You're not on there," he replied. I let out a breath. 

"What about you?" I asked nervously He shook his head. 

"211's not there either," he continued. I opened my mouth to ask about 640... then shut it again. Sev still wasn't full involved in this. And now there was even less reason to bring him in. If it was open season in secrets, then nothing was safe. 

"I don't see why any of us would be," 211 added from nearby. She was looking over the numbers with a grimace of distaste. "We're not the ones doing anything wrong." I willed myself not to look at Sev, though I could feel him staring at me. 

"What about the 'Festival of Harvest?'" I asked. 211 shrugged. 

"We're all healthy," she replied. "We meet our quotas. We're fine. Nothing to worry about. C'mon, we gotta get to work." She waved her hand and started walking away. 

I wanted to be furious with her. Hundreds of people were going to be killed because someone decided their parts mattered more than the whole of them. And others were going to be killed because they were doing small things against the rules. I'd heard of a girl in Division 7 known for mismatching socks. A stupid rule to flout, in my opinion, but not one that deserved this. 

But I thought about the previous 812s. 211 had known all of them. She'd watched each of them transfer, die, or disappear. Even if something was to happen to me... I would just be another 812 that fell by the way of the curse. She would tell the next one about me and make a joke about the curse. For all the time we spent together... I was still replaceable. My chest ached with the thought. As if he could read my mind, Sev squeezed my shoulder. 

"Not really a room full of people that love you," he said quietly. For one maddening moment, I thought my eyes would tear up. But I took a deep breath and shrugged. Instead, I turned back to the wall. I had to know if 640 was on there. But then 211 was calling again. A glance at my cuff told me were were going to be late. I glanced up at Sev again, surprised he was still here with me. He was always on time. 

"We should get going," I replied. "We've got work to do."