Shadow love

Chapter 1

The night was dark and quiet. The moon was well hidden by clouds. The street where I had been walking for the last thirty minutes was lit only by the streetlights. I was alone. The only sound I could hear was the sound of my heels against the concrete. However, I was not afraid; I felt peace. To a stranger, I might have even seemed confident, with my head high.

After a short while, I was finally getting to my building. It is an old, rundown flat with a very cheap rent. It does not have heating. Water was only available at certain hours. I was even forced to hack into my neighbour's internet connection. It has nearly no furniture: a couch, a bed and a drawer. However, the kitchen and bathroom were clean and usable.

My room was on the eighth floor. I used the stairs since a lift would have been too good. Once I got inside, I threw my bag onto the counter. I passed by the kitchen and living room to finally fall face-first onto the bed. I got onto my back and I stared at the ceiling. Soon, dark thoughts started to get into my mind.

"Stop. Stop. I don't want to remember. Go away. Go away!" I murmured into the dark room as I put my head into my knees. I curled up into a ball, squeezing my head. I felt like I was hurting all over again. I could have done anything to stop my body from hurting. Then, an idea popped into my mind: shower. It was my only option to delay the inevitable. Hot showers always seemed to calm me. I rushed into the shower, while removing my clothes along the way. Once into the shower, I turned the handle to scalding hot and let my body to sustain it. Those hot droplets onto my body seem to numb my skin. I started to try to concentrate onto most drops of water, cascading down my body.

After fifteen minutes, I got out, changed into my blue shorts and shirt. I lay down onto my bed, to face the ceiling again. This time I could not prevent the dark dreams from attacking my sleep.

My name is Violet Smith. I am eighteen years old. And here is my past.

My dream started when I was four.

My dad and I were playing hide and seek in the garden. Since my garden was lush with bushes, trees and flowerbeds, there were plenty of places to hide. My mother loved gardening.

"Eight. Nine. Ten. Here I come!" exclaimed my dad.

The little I hid behind a tree. I was giggling so hard.

"Vi, where are you? Here? Not here. Where are you, my sweet Violet?" he said repeatedly, smiling, as he searched through the garden.

When he finally got to me, he started tickling me. Between my failed attempts at escaping the "tickling monster" and uncontrollable laughter, I saw my mother, leaning the backdoor frame, smiling fondly at us.

We were so happy. My parents were smiling and my face was reflecting their expressions.

Then, the scene changed. I was twelve years old.

My father was having problems at work. He was always coming home late, smelling of alcohol and cigarettes. From the bits and pieces I collected by snooping, my father's business partner left him for the rival firm. Once he was gone, my father was stressed that his empire would crumble down. He started drinking and smoking to cope with it. My mother was always trying to tell him to just sell his company. However, my father, being a very prideful male, refused to back down. He was working more and more. I rarely saw him during dinner. The only times I caught glimpses of him were when I was waking up in the middle of the night to drink some water. He stared at me for a few seconds with bloodshot eyes, lowered his head slightly and walked towards his room.

However, that particular night, all hell broke loose.

As usual, my father came home very late. However, the unusual thing was that my mother was awake. She was fuming; she was fed up with my father's antics. She only wanted to save him from utter self-destruction.