Scary Stories and Urban Legends

Fatty

I was eating a giant marshmallow when the nurse walked in. 

"Good morning, Fatty," she said. 

Everybody calls me Fatty. It's not on my birth certificate, but as long as I can remember, I have always been Fatty. That's what my mom called me.

"You've been eating your pillow again," she said, shaking her head.

I looked down and saw that she was right. Have you ever noticed that pillows look like marshmallows? The nurse slipped some pills into my mouth and I gobbled them down.

Did you ever notice how fingers look like hot dogs?

"You're drooling all over yourself," the nurse observed.

 I can't help it. I'm so hungry.

The nurses don't understand. They're starving me. I need to eat. I'm a growing boy.

My mom always understood. When she was taking care of me, she kept me fed. I was happy then. 

She would cook anything I wanted... Sausages, bacon, burgers, hot dogs, french fries, pizzas, pancakes... My mom cooked it all. 

She always fixed me bags of snack, too... Bags of chips, chocolate bars, cakes, hard candy, jellies, ice cream, salted nuts... Anything I wanted, my mom gave me.

Whenever she went out, she always remembered to get me something... McDonald's, KFC, Burger King, Dairy Queen, Dunkin Doughnuts... Mom was the best.

My Mom always told me,"You are a growing boy, you need to eat." 

Everything was great until the doctors came and got me. There was no way they were going to squeeze me through my door frame, so they knocked down a wall and used  a crane to get me out of my bed. 

They brought me to the hospital and started starving me. They said I almost died. They said my mom was feeding me to death, but starving here is worst than death. 

"Time for your bath," the nurse said.

She started washing me in bed, running a wet cloth all over me. 

Have you every noticed how soap suds look like ice cream?did you ever notice how arms look like roast turkey legs?

I grabbed the nurse and she gave a little yelp. 

When the doctors came in rushing a few minutes later, I was almost finished.

I was afraid that they were going to take the last piece of turkey away from me, so I swallowed it real quick and gnawed off as much meat off the bones as I could. 

Like I said, I'm a growing boy and I need to eat.