As Long As You Love Me ✓

18. Don't Hold Me

The sound of a car door had her scurrying to the window. She turned and grabbed a scarf and wound it around her neck letting the ends drape over her breasts. That way, when she opened the door to a cold blast of air, it wouldn't matter if the girls snapped to attention. Certainly wouldn't be comfortable about Matthew seeing her with a full nipple alert.

She didn't wait for his knock, just threw open the door, and as she expected, a blast of frigid air hit her dead center.

"Come in."

He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, sir." She lifted her jacket from the chair and pushed it toward him. "Would you mind helping me get this on?"

"Not at all."

He held it out, and she worked at getting the cast through the sleeve, then easily slipped in her other arm. "Thank you."

He placed his hand on her shoulder. "I can't tell you how happy I was when you texted. I started to offer yesterday to help you look, but then you mentioned going with Gabriel, and I didn't want to interfere."

She turned to face him. "I wasn't thinking clearly. I shouldn't depend on him for everything."

Matthew pulled his brows together. "Did he say he didn't want to take you?"

She shook her head. "Oh, no. He'd never do that. With you here, it's more logical for us to go together. Besides, you said you wanted to spend time with me, so this makes sense."

"Dawn—Gabriel's mom, is doing her part. She invited us to dinner tonight."

"I know. Gabriel left a note about it."

Matthew put his hand on the doorknob. "Okay, are you ready? Have you thought about what model you want?"

She should say something nice. Like how much she appreciated him being here and his willingness to pay for a car. But each time she thought of doing that, a knot formed in her throat and choked the words. He really was a nice man. His expression spoke volumes as to how much he cared. And there was fear there, too, and Zari could relate to that. Just as she was afraid she'd never retrieve her memories, she figured he was terrified he'd never regain the version of Zari he knew. The least she could do was offer encouragement along that line. She slung her purse strap over her shoulder. "No. I guess I'll know when I see it. Oh, and I remembered something else from my past."

He widened his eyes. "You did? What?"

"We'll talk about it on the way."

Outside, wind whipped the collar of her jacket up. She yanked it tighter and dipped her chin deeper into her scarf.

He opened the passenger door and let Zari in, then snapped her seat belt into place like she was a child. She'd bet he'd been the kind of guy who'd helped with his friends' kids. Probably even changed diapers. She bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud. Somehow, the thought of him doing that struck her as funny.

He slid in behind the wheel but didn't start the car, clearly anxious to hear what she had to say. "So—about what you remembered..."

She took a deep breath. "What was my fiancée's name?"

"Raquel."

She nodded at the confirmation. "And my maid of honor?"

He reached over and took her hand. "Oh, sweetie. I'm sorry. I was hoping it was a happy memory."

God, Zari wanted to kick herself. Why was it when she talked about this, tears came? She didn't give a crap about Raquel. Didn't even remember their past. But yet, the waterworks turned on full force when she did. She shook her head. "I don't know why I'm crying. I don't remember them. How can that be? I mean—why do I have a physical reaction without being connected to an emotional one?"