My Lucky Star (One Direction Affection: Book 2)

6: The Best Policy

♧ 6: The Best Policy ♣

"So, you don't have a home?"

I nod my head.

"Or a job?"

Again, I nod.

"And no one to stay with?"

For what feels like the hundredth time since Niall, Zayn, and I got back, I nod my head once more. We've all been sitting around in the living room of the boys flat discussing my situation. I'm seated in my own little recliner, facing the large, leather couch that I was sitting on not only mere hours before. Now, all the boys and Paige are sitting over every possible inch of that couch, just staring at me. 

I sink deeper into the recliner, just praying that it could just swallow me whole so I won't have to endure anymore questioning.

"Wait, so let me get this straight," Louis says shaking his hands in the air wildly. "So this whole time that you stayed with us you were pretending to be...? What? I don't even know. You've confused me."

I lick my lips. "I wasn't pretending to be anything, really. I just," I pause, thinking it over. "Well, I mean, I guess I was just pretending nothing bad happened in the first place. I just couldn't tell you all what happened."

"Why not?" Liam asks.

"I got embarrassed," I admit.

"There is nothing to be embarrassed about, you could've told me," Niall tells me as he leans forward in the couch, locking gazes with me.

I sigh, knowing he is right. "I know, but do you have any idea how hard that would've been? I mean, everything just happened. I was still trying to come to terms with it myself, let alone admit it to someone else. It's not something to brag about."

It's not like I could've been all, "Hey, Mr. Pop Star, I just got dumped, fired, and evicted, mind if have dinner with you since you almost ran me over?"

No, I couldn't. And of course, I didn't say that. The easier way for me was to lie and pretend like I did have all those things. Pretend like everything was still normal. Pretend like the worst day of my life never actually happened. That's what I want. That's all I ask.

"But you knew about this Zayn?" Paige asks, giving him a look.

"Well, not about the whole "worst day of her life" thing," He says defensively. "I just thought she was using Niall or something, and then just sent us to a fake address. I had no idea that she is actually homeless."

Everyone gives Zayn a dead look. I lick my lips, feeling bad that he thought I'd acutally had been using them. If I had been using them, it was on accident. Its not like I meant for all of this to happen and for it to go this far. It just sort of went like this. I let it go too far and now I have to pay the price. 

"I just wish you told us sooner," Liam says, fiddling with his thumbs.

"I know, I do, too," I tell them.

"But at least she came clean right away," Harry says in my defense. "That has to count for something. She told the truth."

I notice Harry and Paige share a look, but before I can dissect it further, Louis pipes in.

"True! As my Year One teacher always told me, honesty is the best policy," He muses, holding his head high. "Although, I myself, didn't really abide by it at the time. I refused to take full blame for letting loose the class pet. I wasn't going to give up my snack time!"

"Hey, Lou," Paige says in a faux sweet voice.

"Yes, Paige?"

"As much as I enjoyed that mini flashback you had," She says. "This isn't about you. It's about Maddy."

I don't know, I really liked Louis story. Besides, I'd rather talk about Louis setting loose class pets than my problems.

"Wow," Zayn says, shaking his head, still in disbelief "I still can't believe that happened to you. And all in one day?"

"I hit the trifecta, didn't I?" I say with a pathetic laugh.

"You can say that," Paige comments, her brown eyes looking back at me with sadness.

This is another reason why not telling them what happened was a good thing. Before they all treated me like I was just a normal person. But now that they know the truth, they are looking at me with wary expressions. With pity. That's the last thing I wanted. I didn't need or want their pity. That only makes matters worse.

"Don't look at me like that," I say to Paige. 

"Like what?" She asks, and suddenly her face isn't one of pity, it's replaced with confusion. 

"Like you feel sorry for me," I answer dumbly.

"I'm sorry, it's just I can't help it," She admits, nervously combing her fingers through her short hair. "I mean, I can't just not feel sorry for a girl who has nothing."

And she's right. I do have nothing. I'm the Girl Who Has Nothing. Forget Maddy, I have adopted a new and more fitting name for myself. 

Just going back to my empty apartment really put everything into check for me. Seeing the clear floor boards, the blank walls, the empty space; it just hit me. I have nothing. Literally nothing. 

"It could be worse," I say, trying hard to make it seem like I'm handling all of this well, when in reality, I'm a hot mess. I have no idea what I'm going to do from this point on. 

"Really?" Louis comments, cocking his head. "Because right now, I don't see how it can get any worse."

Without a second to waste, Harry smacks Louis upside the head. 

"Ow!" Louis shouts, rubbing his head where Harry had hit. "What was that for?"

"Way to make her feel better about herself," Harry scolds Louis.

"I didn't mean it like that," Louis explains. "It's just, I meant that she's still alive. So thats good."

"Yeah, barely, Niall almost had that one covered," I laugh, giving Niall a smile, but the panicked look on his face makes me stop.

That's when I remember, I'm not supposed to mention Niall and the car. Right at this moment, I wish I can just gobble up all the words, or maybe if we're lucky, they didn't notice. Maybe they didn't hear me.

"What?" Paige asks, looking between Niall and I.

"What did Niall do?" Liam asks in an accusatory tone.  

"Well, um," I say quickly. "That's not really important, is it? I mean, I'm alive! Let's celebrate!"

"Yeah, I'm with Maddy," Niall agrees as he hops up from the couch. "I'll go get some food to celebrate."

"Oh no you don't. You're not going anywhere," Liam says as he pulls Niall back down onto the couch. Niall sinks deep into the leather with a small pout. He reminds me of an innocent puppy, which makes me feel even more guilty about getting him in trouble.

"What did you mean by that, Maddy?" Harry asks curiously.

"Nothing!" I say, a bit too panicked. "It was a figure of speech?"

Yeah, that was stupid.

"What?" Zayn looks at me dumbly.

"Yeah, I don't know, I'll just shut up," I conclude, biting my lower lip nervously.

"Niall," Liam says glaring at him. "Did you do something to Maddy?"

"I-I-I-" Niall stutters, his cheeks turning red under the pressure. "It was an accident!"

"What did you do?" Paige asks.

"I might've accidentally," Niall starts off slowly, scratching the back of his head nervous as he purposely avoided eye contact with anyone. "Almost ran Maddy over with the car?"

It is like a bomb exploded. Suddenly everyone jumps off the couch, asking questions directed at Niall and I.

"You what?" Liam repeats.

"When did this happen?" Zayn asks.

"You're not supposed to drive!" Harry shouts.

"Maddy, are you alright?" Paige asks, walking towards me, examining me for any possible wounds.

"Might've accidentally almost?" Louis quotes, laughing to himself. "That could've definitely been a full on Code Purple. Maddy, you're lucky."

"You are in so much trouble, mate," Zayn says.

"Did anyone see?" Liam asks, still in complete shock.

"Possibly?" Niall answers shyly, more of a question.

"I can't believe this. You're so lucky Maddy is alright," Paige scolds, patting her hand on my shoulder.

"Wait! What car? You better not have been driving my car," Harry pipes in, shooting Niall a death glare.

"What? Your car? No. Pffft. I don't know what you're talking about," Niall says nervously. He had 'Liar' written all over his face.

"You're the one who took Harry's car?" Louis asks Niall.

"See! I told you I didn't take it!" Liam says defensively.

"You took my car out for a joy ride?" Harry asks as he narrows his green eyes at Niall, who is pretty much trying to blend in with the couch right now.

Joy ride. That's exactly how I explained it last night.

"I wouldn't say that," Niall explains nervously. "I just thought that I could take it out to meet Trinity real quick and then bring it back with no problems. I kinda hoped that you wouldn't notice?"

"Oh, I noticed alright," Harry says shaking his head furiously. 

"Niall, you don't have a license and you almost killed someone," Liam says, calming down a bit, but still frustrated. "Do you realize how horrible that could've been?"

"Um, at least I came clean," Niall offers up. "I mean, honesty is the best policy, right, Lou?"

"This is different, mate," Louis says shaking his head sadly.

"So that's what Maddy meant by you almost killing her," Zayn observes, referring to my long speech back at my apartment.

I look between Niall and everyone else in the room. Louis is just watching everything unfold, Zayn is eagerly waiting for something to happen, Paige is still absent mindedly rubbing my shoulder, Harry looks as if he is going to punch a wall, and Liam looks like his head is spinning from the thought of Niall almost killing someone. And then there is Niall.

Poor Niall. I can't help but feel terrible about getting him into trouble. It's not like I planned for this to happen, it's sorta just did. 

"It wasn't his fault," I say, cutting in. "I kinda just walked out in front of him. I'm just lucky he stopped just in time."

Please note, I use the term 'lucky' very loosely.

"He shouldn't have been driving though," Harry comments angrily. "Especially my car."

"Yeah, but what male teen hasn't done something that they weren't supposed to," I say defensively. "It's like the Rules of Masculinity; do what you can't and want what you can't have."

I specifically think of Andrew when I say the last part. He didn't want what he had and wanted what he couldn't have, which was Jessica. Damn you Rules of Masculinity.

The boys fall silent, looking between one another, obviously agreeing with what I just said. I catch Niall's gaze and he gives me a big smile, exposing every single brace-covered tooth. I smile back. 

"But my car?" Harry continues, pouting. "Why couldn't he take Zayn's or something?"

"Hey!" Zayn says, shooting Harry a look. 

"What?" Harry asks with a shrug. "I take better care of my car anyways."

"Really, Harry?" Paige says giving him an unamused look. "You care more about the stupid car than you do about this situation?"

Harry purses his lips, looking at us guiltily. He gives me a shy smile. "I'm sorry. I really am glad you're alright, Maddy."

"No harm done," I nod, fully understanding how guys get with their cars. "But, uh, can I use the restroom?"

"Oh, of course," Paige says excitedly. "I'll show you where it is."

"You don't have to," I say, patting her thin arm as I stand up. "I know where it is."

"Oh, yeah," She says, her cheeks red. "I forgot. Well, call out if you need anything."

"I will," I mumble as I awkwardly make my way out of the living room and down the hall.

As I leave, I feel everyone's eyes on me, watching my every step. It is this moment where I hope that I'm not wearing the jeans with the small rip in the back. That would just add to my embarrassment. But, I wanted to get out of there. I just had to get away from everyone at the moment. I don't know what it is but just being in there with them made me sad. There they are, such a tight knit group of friends and here I am, an outsider. I just don't belong. 

I flip on the switch to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me. Placing my hands on the counter, I look at myself in the mirror. The same light brown eyes stare back at me. My dark wavy hair is pulled into a loose ponytail, a few strands sticking out in all directions due to the stressful day. My ivory skin is just as pale a it always is. 

Almost as if nothing has changed.

It's funny how I can look exactly the same as I did two days ago and yet so changed. Two days ago I had everything right in front of me and now I'm struggling jut with the thought of tomorrow. How can things change and yet everything stay the same? A person can be so changed on the inside and yet on the outside, everything is untouched. How are you supposed to know? How are you supposed to know when something is wrong? It's not like all people make drastic changes, like getting a piercing or tattoo. No, some people bottle it up. Which is exactly why no one guessed that something was wrong with me. 

With a sigh, I turn on the cold water, letting it run through my cupped hands before splashing it on my face. I let the cool water snap me back to my old self. I can't let all these problems get to me. I can't focus on the bad things right now because if I do, nothing is ever going to get better. Nothing will ever change.

I turn around, leaning myself against the counter, looking around the bathroom. For a boys bathroom, it is really clean. Paige must do a good job with making the boys clean up after themselves. I look off to my left and see the toilet and to my surprise, the seat is down. I am shocked. I could never get Andrew to put the seat cover down. Paige must show me her ways. 

Before leaving the bathroom, I take one last look at myself in the mirror, smiling at myself before turning back to the door. I pull it open and the second I step out and turn the corner, I come face to face with Niall.

"Whoa," I say taking a step back. "What're you doing?"

"Waiting for you," He answers, leaning up off the wall. "Girls take so long in the bathroom."

"Sorry," I say, and then add. "And I'm sorry about tatting you out about the whole car thing."

"No big deal. It was bound to come out anyways," he says with a shrug. "Anyways, I just came to check on you."