Loyalty

Chapter 52: End?

Filming the movie almost pushed Brian over the edge. They had to film in Atlanta for an entire month. Sometimes they'd be working long, 18-hour days. They barely got any sleep before having to wake up and do it all over again the next day. While Brian initially seemed excited about the movie, those feelings changed once they started filming. To be brutally honest, he was miserable. The longer that Brian and I were together, the more he hated being away for a couple of days, or for a whole week. So, the idea of not being home for a month was like torture for him. He didn't have the comfort of his own bed and home. He didn't have the animals. And he didn't have me physically there with him every night. Even talking to Brian on the phone during that time, I could tell he was struggling. Somedays he tried to stay up and talk to me all night, like we did when we first started dating. He thought it would help us stay connected, but he always ended up falling asleep. Brian was so exhausted and had become completely burnt out.

I knew what I was getting myself into when I started dating Brain. I knew that he would be on the road a lot. I thought I would get used to it. I thought it would get easier. But it never gets easier. In fact, each time I have to say goodbye, it gets a little harder. And I could tell that the goodbyes were getting harder for Brian too. Every night I would lay in bed, wishing he was there next to me, with his arms wrapped around me. But the bed felt so cold and so empty without him. The time apart was weighing heavily on both of us. With all of this in mind, I had recently made a decision that would make a major impact on both of our lives. But I was nervous to tell Brian because I had no idea how he was going to react.

---

About two weeks into filming the movie, I went to go visit Brian in Atlanta. I knew that I had to tell him about my decision in person. This wasn't the kind of news that you could tell someone over the phone.

I knocked on his door, which then opened almost immediately. When Brian first saw me, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in for a tight hug. Brian held me there for a few minutes, squeezing me as tight as possible. We've been away from each other for almost two weeks. Usually, that meant that he would instantly grab me, push me up against a wall, or try to rip my clothes off. But he didn't want sex, he wanted comfort.

"Baby, I missed you so much," Brian told me. He sounded so sad, almost like he was in tears.

"I know, baby. I missed you too. But I'm here now."

"I'm sorry I've been gone so long," he apologized.

"It's okay, I know it's your job."

"But I know it's been hard lately. I've been away more than usual."

"Speaking of that, there's actually something I wanted to talk to you about," I told him. I guess there was no point in waiting.

"Jess, what is it? You're making me nervous," he said, taking a step back. He could tell I was slightly nervous.

"Well... I know that since we've gotten married, the time apart has been even harder on us. And I haven't been happy at work for a while..." I started to tell him, but he already knew where this was going. He was too good. He knew me too well.

"You finally quit your job," Brian guessed.

"Well, technically I didn't quit yet. I still wanted to run it by you first," I told him. I planned on giving my two weeks that Monday. But I didn't want to make such a life-changing decision without talking to my husband first.

I used to love my job. I would get to research new, exciting companies and decide which ones would get an investment. But recently, I started to hate going to work every day. My job didn't give me a lot of flexibility in terms of traveling since I only worked out of our Manhattan office. There have been so many times where Brian offered to take me with him on a week-long trip to Florida, the UK, or some other location. But I felt like I was too busy at work, and I couldn't take that much time off. I don't know if it was the accident, or getting married that has made me feel differently. But I just didn't love my job anymore. I wanted more freedom. I wanted to be able to travel with my husband and be there with him more often.