It had been a while since the incident with Jim. 9.8 months to be exact. I was eating lunch with Cadet Uhura, or Nyota as she was forcing me to call her, when I saw him. He was with Doctor McCoy again. He had an easy smile on his face and he looked relaxed. That's something I hadn't seen since the first weeks on Tarsus IV. He was wearing his cadet uniforms, which fit him nicely. He somehow managed to make the rusty red look good.
The doctor said something that made Jim throw his head back in laughter. I just wish I was close enough to hear. I suddenly heard Nyota clear her throat and I jumped slightly.
"Did you hear my question, Spock," I could hear the smile in her voice, "or were you busy staring at something or someone else?"
I could feel the tips of my ears burn and knew they were tinted green. Even though she knew I was staring it was possible she didn't know who I was staring at and I wanted to keep it that way.
"Why Spock, are you blushing? That is the cutest thing I have ever seen!"
"I am not cute," I mumbled "and Vulcans do not blush."
"So, who do you have a crush on?"
"I do not have romantic feelings for anyone, Nyota," I said with a confidence I didn't have.
"Sure you don't," she rolled her eyes.
"That is correct, I do not. How is your xenolinguistics class going?" I attempted to change the conversation.
"It is going well," she knew what I was doing, but she let it drop. I was grateful for my friendship with Nyota. She was witty and sharp, but also kind.
"-and that's when my roommate-" Nyota had stopped in the middle of her story. "What do you want?" she was glaring at someone behind me.
When I turned around I was met with bright blue eyes and a shy smile.
"I am actually here to talk to Spock," Jim said.
I was stunned but didn't let it show.
"You wish to speak to me?"
"Yes, so if you would excuse us Uhura."
She gave me a look that clearly said, "we'll talk later." She stood up kissed my cheek gently and walked away.
"What did you want to ask me, Cadet?" I was a little nervous. My palms were slightly damp which never happened. Terra was a much colder than Vulcan.
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay, you know, after the first time we talked."
That stung more than it should have. Of course he would think that was the our first conversation.
"I am adequate, thank you for asking," I said avoiding his worried look. "Is that all?"
"Well, I wanted to ask what happened that day. I obviously upset you and I feel awful about it. Is there anything I can do to make for whatever I did. Maybe coffee? Or dinner? On me, of course."
Jim was even kinder than he was on Tarsus IV. Though Tarsus IV quickly became a place where kindness was considered weak. He was always kind to me though, even after the murder began. He always made sure I had food. He even gave me his only jacket because I was so cold all the time.
"Spock?" Jim was clearly concerned.
"I do not wish to speak of it," I snapped. "Thank you for your offer," I quickly got up and started to walk away. Jim grabbed my upper arm and turned me around. I was startled, but thankful for my long sleeves.
"Look, I don't know what I did that was so horrible, but I tried to apologize," he was clearly upset now. "If you can't accept that, it's not my fault." His expression softened, "But since I'm not a terrible person, if you ever want to talk about it, I'm always here," he grabbed my PADD that was sitting on the table and enter something into it. "Here is my contact information, if you decide you want to talk," he put the PADD in my hands and walked away, leaving me confused, but somehow happy.
