Breathing, that’s all I was focused on. How could my life be so condensed? How is it possible that everything I’d work for, everything I was could be taken away from me in a moment? It seemed impossible to me. But yes, it was the truth and I had to accept that.
I walked in with the doctor, and saw his face; it was gloomy full of scars and a bit unhappy. His face was totally different, I couldn’t hold on I just ran into the corridor and started to cry. I couldn’t help myself; there was no one to support me, no one to give me a shoulder to cry upon. I just wanted him to hold on!
The nurse held me and advised me to stay close to him as he’s breathing his last breath; she took my hand and pulled me in, hurting me a bit. I saw him again, and rushed towards him this time his eyes is locked on me when I sat beside him. “I’m so sorry! “
His voice is so distant, it’s almost like he isn’t talking to me. I can block all of it out, yes I can! I uttered,” There was anything we could possibly do?”
My hands were so tightly clenched that the knuckle snarly ripped through my pale, sweaty skin. My hands were bright red shaking by now.
I told him positively, “I can go into detail if you wish but-“
“Please don’t, there’s no such need! He interrupted. His voice is a bit weaker as he finishes his statement. And then his grip grew tighter and then he closed his eyes, not in relief.
His eyes were full of wearies and thoughts. The doctor announced,” He’s no more with you.”
He’s gone? What does that mean? What will that do to me? Things will definitely be so different now. These things were too hard to grasp.
How can the man who meant the whole world to me-who was always there for me-be gone?
The doctor left the room with a groan. I was free to scream or cry or do what ever somebody does when a loved one dies.
But here’s the thing I miss him. I miss my daddy a lot. He was the only for me in the whole world, my mummy left this world before two years, and now it’s just ME in this world. And now all I can do is hold on and wait for the hard luck god has written for me!
