What if I stayed ?

Chapter 9

She let out a long sigh of despair after reading this message. She has no idea what to do.

I won't ruin Yusuf's future, I can't be selfish. Also I should think about my mom too. No one deserves to get hurt because of me. I won't let that happen again.

She takes a shower then heads to the Yusuf's house in time. While she's waking on sidewalk and overthinking a car stopes.

" Hayal... " says Yusuf " Are you going somewhere? "

She is really relieved to see Yusuf back. She smiles just a little.

" Are you Ok ? You look so pale " says Yusuf.

She passes out. She wakes up in her house.

" Are you feeling Ok ? I'm really worried. Should I call a doctor ? " asks Yusuf.

Hayal hugs him so tight while she starts sobbing.

" Did something happen I wasn't here ? Tell me ! " he wipes her tears.

" I... I missed you so much. "

" oh, I was really worried. I missed you so much, and came as soon as possible " he kisses her on the forehead and hugs her again. 

They spent the whole day together, she turns her phone off because his mother keeps calling her. Hayal decides to ignore his mother and follows the voice of her heart.

Days passed by and tomorrow is the hearing in court.

" Hayal, I want to take you somewhere today " says Yusuf.

" Where ? " She askes.

" You'll see. "

They get ready and go to a place.

" Did we arrive ? "

" Not there yet. Let's get out. "

They get out of the car and there is a helicopter waiting for them. Hayal is a little scared from flying, but she is really happy. There is car waiting for them when they arrive, then they go to a house that is near the beach, really well decorated and planed, she is impressed by how beautiful everything looks here. They spend all day exploring around the beautiful places, then eat dinner in the house. Then Hayal opens another glass of wine and drinks a lot, so does Yusuf.

They put good music and start to dance and then drink again. Then Yusuf an romantic song and they start dancing. Yusuf puts his hands around her waist and kisses her, then she grabs her and lays her on the bed, and takes her dress off, and then kisses her on her neck then her stomach and her thigh and asks her " Are you sure that you wanna do it Hayal ? "

" Yes, very sure, I'm all yours, I'm so into it " she answers and he takes her underwear off and they make love.

In the end he kisses her in the forehead full off sweat and says " I didn't know that you were a virgin. "

" Well, you never asked" says Hayal and they both start laughing and they fell asleep hugging each other.

" Good morning " says Hayal.

" Good morning, princess. "

" Wait, what time is it ? "

" It's 11pm."

" Oh... No...My mom's hearing in court..."

They hurry up and arrive in court as soon as possible. Hayal is really worried if they're gonna be there in time. The hearing is almost over when they arrive.

The judge decided to give Hayal's mother 15 years in prison. She looks at Hayal and starts crying and Hayal gets on her knees sobbing while the police takes her mother. Yusuf tries to comfort and help her get up " let me go" she yells at him " this is all your fault. "

" Hayal, what are you saying ? " he tries to hug her, but she pushes him away " it's all your fault, you shouldn't take me at trip, we almost missed all the hearing, did you see the look on her face ? Like she was all alone in this big world. I should have been here in time. You're totally a distraction. You've ruined everything. You distract me from the real world and the disaster that is happening around me. You're the most beautiful thing that happened to me, but I just feel it's not true, like it's all a dream. And I'm tired of waiting until all of this will end, I'm tired of waking up in the morning with this fear. I wish I never met you. This is all your fault.

I should have taken your mom's offer and now my mom wouldn't take this much years as punishment. Go away, I don't wanna see you or hear your mother's threats again. Go... "

She gets up and runs away.

My mom's threats ?

It's all my fault !? He gets in the car and goes home really upset. His mom it's not here, but he waits for her. When she arrives home, in the living room there is no light, she turns on the light and sees Yusuf waiting for her, and a suitcase next to him.

" What's going on, son ? Why're you staying up in dark ? " she asks.

He doesn't speak, just let's out a long sigh.

" What's up with that suitcase ? I'm worried. "

" Why did you do that ? Why did you have to take away from me those beautiful moments with someone I adore ? Is it that much ? What happens if I become happy for once ? Do you always have to interfere in every part of my life ? For once, I thought I found my happy part, but you destroyed everything like always. "

" My son, what happened ? What did I do ? "

" Don't act like you haven't done anything. You threatened Hayal... The girl I'm in love with. "

" In love ? With that girl ? "

" Why ? Only because she's poor ? "

" She isn't the right girl for you. I did everything for you. I did everything for our family. I know that you're angry with me right now, but one day you will know that I did the right thing. "

" Our family ? I hope you'll stop fooling yourself mom, because such day will never come. "

" Look at me. Why are you speaking with me like that ? "

" No, you look at me, MOM. Look my face well, because I don't know when are you gonna see it again. " He takes his suitcase and walks away, his mom tires to stop him but he doesn't even look back.

Days pass by, Hayal keeps staring at the window sadly. When it raining she gets out for a walk, without umbrella and walks for miles. Tears are mixed with raindrops, this way no one will notice that she's crying. Every time that's raining she gets out with hope that the rain will extinguishes the fire in her body, in her heart. But every day, every week that passes by it gets worse. One day while she is really in much pain and suffering she takes a blank paper and a pen and starts writing :

" I know I don't deserve to be forgiven, but let's start this letter with how sorry I'm for everything that I said to you that day. I'm sorry Yusuf that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I was so unfair with you. You was here for me in my hardships, in my worst days...And I still blamed you. I drowned everything, I destroyed everything. I wish I could go back on time when you were here next to me. I miss your aroma, your smooth voice, your calming words. I miss seeing my reflection in your eyes, your hugs and your lips. I'm sorry that I breathe, drink and eat, while you're not here beside me.

I'm not asking for forgiveness, even I can't forgive myself. I can't forgive myself that I lost you. It's all my fault, but how can I live now without you ? I would give anything just to have you back...Please know this ! It's so hard to live without you, Yusuf.

I never deserved you, but you mean a lot for me. Even now that we don't talk anymore, I still love you so much. I will always wait for you, even that I know that you'll never come back."