the umbrella academy imagines

vii. ghostin' (ben)

Baby, you do it so well
You been so understanding, you been so good

Ben was always there. Every tear, every heartbroken moment, he was there. Laughing whenever you did something funny, wishing he could hold you whenever you cried. He talked to Klaus about you a lot, so much so that Klaus would try to punch him every time he opened his mouth. Of course failing every time and falling into nothing. He always wished you'd move on. All he wanted was for you to be happy and find someone else, but everything came back to him. He was the reason that you had never settled down with someone. Ben wasn't an idiot, of course he knew you had loved him. Just as he had loved you.

And I'm puttin' you through more than one ever should
And I'm hating myself 'cause you don't want to
Admit that it hurts you

Ben blamed himself for all your sadness, why wouldn't he? Standing right next to you in his home as you held back your tears, it killed him inside. He pleaded with Klaus, begging him to tell you that he was standing right next to you, that he cared about you, that he loves you as much as you had loved him. But Klaus never gave in. He
had argued with Ben a year ago that if he kept stringing your heart along that you'd never move on. As much as Ben hated to admit it, he was right. You two could never be together, it was simply impossible. Still, Ben was (shamefully) happy that you had stuck around, even if you refused to admit that you were hurting yourself by doing so. Ben could hear nothing, not Diego and Luther yelling about whatever, nor Allison trying to keep them apart. All he could do was stare at you.

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again
Over him, mmh

Klaus glanced over at you amid all the family drama. His heart broke a little every time he looked at you, eyes glazed over, shoulders slack, skin sickly discoloured. He suspected you never really slept anymore, probably always thinking about Ben. At times he wanted to hug you and tell you that everything was, and sometimes he'd want to punch Ben for ever hurting you like that. Even after growing apart, Klaus never forgot his childhood best friend, and all he wanted was for you to be happy.

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again
'Stead of ghostin' him

'Why couldn't you move on' Klaus would cry. Move out of the city you hated, get that job you always wanted, settle down with the person that person that you loved. But no, you had to stay whipped over a dead guy. You couldn't just leave could you?

We'll get through this, we'll get past this, I'm a girl with
A whole lot of baggage
But I love you, we'll get past this, I'm a girl with
A whole lot of baggage, yeah

You tried to rationalise that maybe one day, everything could be good. Ben could be alive, you could be with him. That was one of the things which Ben loved and hated about you. Your stubbornness could lead you to be blind to the things which hurt you. You always let yourself get hurt. After a pretty depressing funeral, you finally had the chance to talk to Klaus. He had escaped you the entire morning but now you had him cornered in his bedroom and you were determined to get through to him.

Though I wish he were here instead
Don't want that living in your head

"You can't keep running from me Klaus."
"I can do a lot of things Y/N, like wax my own ass with chocolate pudding!"
"Klaus..."
"Hey I think I hear Diego beating up Luther again, got to go-"
"I just want to talk to him!"
You cry. Klaus looked ashamed but said nothing. You hung your head, tears spilling over your eyes.
"Sometimes I wish I had your head, just so I could see him all the time."
Klaus started laughing like a maniac as if it was such an absurd thing to say
You couldn't help but giggle while the tears dropped down your face.