to all the boys || skz.

04

seungmin.

he started attending my school not too long after hyunjin and i fell off.

all i could think after i saw him the first time in the cafeteria was 'oh my god, he's so adorable!'

soon after i got into my sixth hour, the door opened, and in walked the new boy.

"ah, you must be my new student! could you please introduce yourself?"

the boy nods and shifts his weight nervously.

"uhm, i'm kim seungmin, and i hope that you will take care of me."

his voice was soft as he spoke, and i swear my heart melted a little bit in my chest.

"welcome, seungmin! if you would go and take a seat next to kim yunri - yunri, please raise your hand - over there, that would be wonderful."

seungmin shuffles his way over to the desk beside me, and i offer him a soft smile as he slides his bookbag off his shoulders and places it on the floor.

"so... what are you guys covering in here?" he asks shyly.

i explain the lesson to him, and it turns out that he had already learned it at his old school, so he was ahead of me.

"oh, okay! i guess i have someone to ask if i'm having trouble then, huh?" 

"yeah, i guess so." he says softly.

"you're a quiet one, kim seungmin." i say matter-of-factly.  "let's be friends?"

"let's be friends." 

and that was the first time i saw seungmin smile.

i began to see him smile a lot more during the time we hung out and studied together.

after a while i started feeling the dreaded butterflies in my stomach whenever i saw him, thought of him, or heard his name.

and then one day, seungmin showed up at my front door, tears streaming down his face.

"min? what's wrong, what happened?" i asked, ushering him upstairs to my room.

"i'm t-transferring again." he sniffled. "w-we're moving to la."

"la? that's all the way in america!" i exclaimed. "when are you going?"

"three days." seungmin whispered. "this will be the last time i ever get to see you."

tears welling in my own eyes, i pull seungmin towards me, and wrap my arms around him in a tight hug. "this can't be the last time." i said.

"but it is." seungmin pulled away from me. "and since it's the last time... this is selfish of me, but i can't leave without doing it."

and the next thing i know, seungmin's lips are on mine, soft and gentle and careful. before i can even kiss him back, they were gone.

i stared at the boy with wide eyes. "i- why did you do that?"

"because..." seungmin sighed. "because i like you. but it doesn't matter now, because i'm moving overseas, and you prob-"

i don't know what he was going to say, because i pressed by lips back against his.

"i like you too, seungmin." i murmured.

seungmin looked at me with sad eyes. "sadly, that doesn't matter." he said quietly. "i'm leaving, yunri. and i'm probably never coming back. so it's best if you forget about me."

"seungmin..." i whispered.

he shook his head. "i- i have to go now. i'm so sorry."

i sat, frozen, and watched at seungmin left.

a boy had finally liked me back. and now he's gone.

that night, i wrote letter number four.

it wasn't long auntil,,,