I'm Here. [Julian Devorak x Reader]

Stubborn.

Julian is busying himself with the cure. He doesn't understand why nothing seems to be working. He locked himself in his room for days and you're starting to get worried. " Doctor? " you softly knocked on the door, but there is only a long silence replying back at you. So today too, huh? , You thought grimly. Each time you tried to call him out there are only frustrated sighs or nothing at all. Sometimes you'd even be grateful for the sighs, at least you know he's still alive. Today is different, however. It is your birthday. Seeing him out of his room and seeing the genuine smile you've always fallen for might be your only wish this time. So you weren't having any of it today. 

" Julian? please come out. You haven't gone out of your room since forever ago and its frustrating me. I know you feel obliged to find the cure since you're a doctor, but tell me, who the hell would find the cure later on if the doctor itself is not healthy?, or worse, dead? . Vesuvia still needs you, and in case you forgot, I'm Here, Julian. I'm still here and.. and..  I need you. " You knocked on the door again. "Julian open the door! " you say again, a bit more desperate this time. No response. Not even the annoying frustrated sighs or annoyed grunts. "Julian I swear in the name of the Arcanas if you don't open this door I will summon the devil to open this door himself!! " You shouted, now frustrated and tired. You have no idea why, but its easier for you to be tired these days. You guessed its because of the insomnias or the worries for Julian and his stupid cure. Yes, you too have been working on the cure whole-heartedly for the sake of Vesuvia and for the sake of Julian's unhealthy obsession for the cure. " Jules, I will count to five. If this door is not open by then, you will hear me making a deal with the devil for no reason, except to burst this door open. " so you started the countdown. In the count of three, there's still no response or sound. 

'Is he dead?'  you wonder. 

"Three.. "

"Two.." 

" One.. "

" So that's how its gonna be. " you sighed and reached down to your pocket, revealing the set of cards. You spare yourself time for deep breaths to collect your magic. " Answer me, d-" you stopped mid-sentence. The door opens to reveal a tired looking Julian, with a glint of desperation and anger crossing his face. " Jules, I-" he cuts you off. " I'm already out. I've opened the door. Please, Leave me alone. I really need this cure to work, (y/n)." by the end of the sentence, you can see worry, anxiousness, doubt, and all the desperation he tried to hide all this time. 

You understand why he is obsessed with the plague. He always thought he's just a burden. That he is not worthy, and this curing this plague might be the only thing he can do to not burden anyone at the very least. His dark circles clearly show under his eyes, he didn't sleep for a long time. 

" Julian, what day is today? " you muster your bravery to ask him. " Why? is there anything special today? Did the countess request me to be back to the castle by today?... Wait... is it Asra? do I have an experiment session with him today? " He questions you, looking genuinely confused and freaking out. You see no point in telling him. The plague is the only thing in his mind. You're not a part of it. Not the slightest bit. You sighed and leave your birthday wishes out of this for now.  " No Julian. Neither of those. " you tried to smile. " I thought its something important." He replied, sighing. " In case you forgot, your health IS important. Come, let's eat something..? " you looked at him with puppy-dog eyes. He needs to eat and He WILL eat. " I'm sorry, but the cure-" He trails off again. " No Jules shut it. I've made dinner. Sit down, eat. " you pulled him away from his room and force him to sit down. In front of him is a bowl of soup. You noticed how cold it could be these days and decided that soup is a good thing to give him. He slowly lifted the spoon and begin to eat. "Uh, um, ahem, thanks. " He knows that you'd rather sell your soul to the devil rather than letting him off without eating anything. " where's yours? " He asked, staring at you sitting across from him, without food in front of you. " I only make one. " You sighed. You stopped making extra food because you know he'll never come out of his room nor eat anything. You hate leaving waste. You feel bad for the food, that they'll feel unwanted. " Wh-" you know he's going to ask. " because you don't eat, Julian. and I don't know if you'll ever come out. you know I hate leaving waste. Even food does not want to feel unwanted. " You looked at him in his eyes. Guilt.  He's not telling me something.  

"Spit it out. " you straighten your posture. " What? " he asked, taken aback. " I know you're not telling me something, what is it ?" You looked at him straight in his soul. " I..." He hesitated. It is not gonna be good, isn't it?  " I received a letter from the palace, they told me I need to be back in three days. " He admits. 

" Oh. " was the only thing you managed to say. Julian is leaving again. " Do you have to go? " you said. it was meant to be in your mind, but you must've said it too loud. " Yes, I have to... " Your face drops. Of course, it was a stupid question. "Its okay, love. I will be back as soon as I can, yeah? don't miss me too much. " He gave you his signature grin. Finishing his soup, he raised from his seat and gave you a hug. The warmth envelopes you and your hands moved to hug him back. Your hug tightens, you know any time could be the last time you see him. You buried your face on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Unknowingly, you started to sob, and the sob soon turns into cries. Julian seemed to be taken aback and hugs you tighter than ever. He kissed your forehead and stroked your hair. He lifted your face with his finger and searched in your eyes, looking genuinely sad. He kneeled between your legs, he could see the teardrops clearly like this. At this moment, He knows what you're thinking and he too thinks so. The more he stays like this the more he doesn't want to go. "(y/n). " He cupped your face with his palm. "Kiss me? " He says. For some reason, the tone of his voice is sweet, lovely, fragile and sad at the same time. "I thought you'd never ask. " you managed to let out.  

and so you kissed him.

and he kissed back.

he cupped your face, pulling you closer. 

You can feel his lips quivering as he tilted his head, deepening the kiss. He doesn't want to leave, but he has to. His hands move to your head, pulling you even closer. The kiss wasn't rushed. It was gentle, with a sense of longing. So when you part, the feeling lingers. " Will you be here when I'm back? " He asked. " I'm here. I always am. " you pointed at his heart and smiled softly. 

" Okay! time to research again!!" He smiled brightly. It charmed you. When was the last time you saw it? . " No Jules, you're going to sleep. You haven't been sleeping well lately. " You crossed your arms and give him the 'fight-me-and-you're-dead' look. He exhales and nods briefly. "Only if you Let me hold you while I'm at it. " He smirked. " I got it Jules i got it. " You smiled, satisfied. 

"Shall we? " He raised his brow, standing up, offering his hand to you. 

" We shall. "