You Had ONE Job

Two

"Your lord and savior has arrived, yes, that's right, it's me, bitches," Izaya opened the door to Shinra's place and smiled (although, it was more of a smirk. Shizuo hadn't seen Izaya smile genuinely, not yet, but he would, probably). Did Izaya have a key? Or did he just pick the lock? These two questions would haunt Shinra's mind for the remainder of the day. Perhaps he should invest in a new security system (as if that would work). 

"Thanks for coming," Shinra began. "I'm really sick and tired of this bastard showing up on my doorstep. Make sure he has a good time, okay?" 

"What about my payment?" 

"Oh, right, that, no payment before results," Shinra took a step back. He looked a bit uncomfortable at the suggestion of payment. Shizuo didn't understand that the 'payment' Izaya was talking about was a kiss. It was a discount deal. One little kiss for a favor. Izaya had said it as a joke but now he was cashing in. Shinra hated that he agreed so easily. Why didn't he think that through?

"No results until after the payment," Izaya took a step forward. Shinra took a step back until there were no more steps to take. Izaya placed his hand right on the base of Shinra's neck and pushed his head forward. Their lips collided and Izaya took this wonderful opportunity to mess with Shizuo. Originally he was just going to lightly kiss Shinra, a nice little peck on the cheek, but now he was feeling a bit more mischievous, the time for tongue has arrived. 

Shinra pushed Izaya away and wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his lab-coat. He hated himself for getting caught up in the moment. Damnit. He had the wonderful Celty, he shouldn't be concerned about battling it out with a massive prick like Izaya. "I agreed to a kiss, not a mouth fucking!" 

"You say tomato," Izaya shrugged, "I say tomato," he snickered. "You didn't say I couldn't..." Izaya averted his gaze and turned back to Shizuo. The expression on the fake blonde's face was marvelous. It was better than Izaya could've ever imagined. He put a hand over his mouth to suppress the laughter but it didn't work. He started laughing hysterically. 

"Your face! Priceless!" Izaya held his stomach. It was too good! Tears began to form at the edges of his eyes. He couldn't help it. Shizuo frowned. He didn't enjoy witnessing the guy he was in love with kissing another guy. But, he knew that Izaya was just messing with him. He felt stupid for getting angry. Shinra wasn't competition. Shinra had Celty. His brain knew this but his anger was still there. 

"Damn flea," Shizuo muttered. Now that he thought about it, something was different about Izaya. He stared at the bastard a bit more carefully. Something was off. He couldn't figure out what. Did he get a haircut or some shit? 

"Do you want me to strike a pose? Perhaps you want to take a picture? That'll last longer," Izaya said. 

"You look different," Shizuo blurted out. 

"Do I?" Izaya looked to Shinra for clarification. "I haven't gotten plastic surgery or anything. My hair is a bit long but..." Izaya played with his bangs for a moment. Shizuo hated that he thought that was cute, even just a little bit. 

Shinra stared at Izaya intently. "Yeah, I get it, there is something a bit different about you. I feel like it's obviou-" Shinra clapped his hands together. "I got it! You're not wearing your stupid coat!" 

"'Stupid coat'? I don't want to hear that from someone who wears the same lab-coat every day. Do you ever wash that thing?" Izaya rolled his eyes. "But, you're right. I'm not wearing my standard asshole-jacket," he shrugged. 

"Lab-coats are meant to be worn! Don't judge me!" Shinra frowned. "How come you get to call it an asshole-jacket but get upset when I say 'stupid coat'?" Shinra muttered and crossed his arms. 

"Jackets are meant to be worn too," Izaya stuck his tongue out. Shizuo only proceeded to think about why the jacket made so much of a difference. Izaya was the same person with or without his damn jacket. Why did he seem like a different one now? The rest of his outfit was the same. He was still wearing that damn belt of his, those rings, and the standard black attire with a v-neck shirt. 

"Why aren't you wearing your jacket?" Shizuo asked. Maybe that would help him understand.

"Oh, what's this? Shizu-Chan is interested in knowing something about me?" 

Shizuo rolled his eyes, "Forget I asked."

"No, no, I will gladly educate you," Izaya grinned. "The human brain is a very tricky thing. It only notices what it wants to notice. You can know someone for years wearing only one-thing and once they change out of it...you don't recognize them at all. That's why both of you were so confused about what changed. You've known me for how long? And couldn't pinpoint it? Because your brain only sees what it wants to see. Thus, imagine all of the people that don't really know me. They see the coat when their brain looks for the coat and go 'Ah, Izaya Orihara!' But, if they see me, right here flesh and blood, without a coat, they go 'Who the fuck?'"

"That makes a weird amount of sense," Shizuo admitted. 

"Exactly," Izaya took a step forward and placed his hands on Shizuo's shoulders. "Which makes it perfect for covert operations like going out with your nemesis.~" 

"Going out?" Shizuo muttered. He couldn't stop his mind from imagining a different context. Dates. Dating. Love. Shizuo was a huge romantic, who knew? 

Izaya grabbed Shizuo's hand and led him out the door. "Bye Shinra! I'll be sure to do everything you wanted and more!~" he waved. Shinra waved too. The doctor sincerely hoped that this plan of his was going to work. His clients couldn't keep being postponed because of an issue with a friend. 

"We can't have you going out like this. Time to get you some new clothes," Izaya smiled. It wasn't his usual 'I'm going to fucking blackmail the shit out of you' grin. It wasn't quite genuine either. A bit of an awkward in-between kinda smirk.

"Why do I need to change?" 

"Didn't you hear a word I said? You can't try to pick up a chick looking like Shizuo Heiwajima, Shizu-Chan. You have to look more casual. Do you want them all to run away because they recognize you? Plus, who the fuck goes to a bar dressed as a bartender?" Izaya had some good points. Shizuo couldn't deny that. 

"Also, have you seen the way you look? You've got blood all over your clothes," Izaya shook his head. Shizuo was a real idiot. 

"Ah, you have a point." Shizuo had forgotten all about that. His pain was numbed by all of the pain meds and his brain was too busy thinking about the date with Izaya. 

"Obviously," Izaya said. He dragged Shizuo to the nearest store, (still holding his hand, mind you). He grabbed a bunch of shit off of the shelves and threw it at Shizuo for him to try on. It was almost as if he'd walked into this store thousands of times pondering what would look good on the man. But, this was Izaya, he would never admit to such a thing...