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was it worth it?

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(This happens within a few moments in the TOP right near the end)

Goku stood there, arms limp by his side, his body hunched over from constant overexertion of his body. Jiren's prior relentless assault abruptly ceased, as he ended his attack with a deadly strike to the gut.

Goku's wail echoed throughout the arena, as he collapsed onto one knee, as a red river flowed from his mouth. With what little might he could muster he gazed up to Jiren, the undaunted warrior. Who's aura was ablaze like untamed inferno,  with red wisps dancing in the air.

Had the circumstances been different Goku would've been in awe of this display of overwhelming power. He now understood the full terror of Jiren the Gray and even the mysterious power of ultra instinct omen wasn't enough, but Goku knew he was being selfish.

He had wanted to savour this battle, even with the looming threat of erasure, he didn't unleash his untapped power from the start. Many times prior, he had been berated by both Whis and Beerus for his fool hardiness  on the battlefield but it was ingrained in his DNA to defeat his opponent at their peak. Yet, this flaw came to haunt him and here he was now.

How ironic, he wishes to beat his opponent at his best yet, he himself refused to go all out. He could only imagine the apparent disappointment on Whis' face at his predicament.

He knew he had the power, he could protect them, he could save them, he could end their suffering. But emotions are one thing, Goku treasures the most. Being able to lose oneself when soaring at insane speed through the sky or training for hours on end, satisfaction gained through his own merits was what Goku strived for, using his power not some borrowed power. Yet, he asked himself if he had the power to save them now would he do anything?

After all, when a man is truly desperate their true personality comes forth.

Goku took a deep breath resigning himself to his fate. His body was slack, his face neutral with closed eyes. Jiren watched on nonchalantly, his expression indifferent. A blue fieiry aura erupted around Goku, his hair flaring upwards into a ethereal white, before setting into a crystalline silver. His eyes opened, a piercing gaze aimed at Jiren. For the first time, Goku and Jiren's expressions were identical, completely void of emotion.

"So..." Goku pondered. "This is what power is." As he dropped instinctively into a familiar stance, ready to engage in his final dual.

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