Remember Me [harry styles] ✓

30 - Yellow and...hello!

"I can't believe I let you walk away when I should have kissed you."

"I'm sorry about this." The taxi driver whirls around in his seat and grimaces at Harry and I in the back. "There's some event on in Times Square tonight."

We've been sat in standstill traffic for nearing twenty minutes now, following a band and crew meal in Chinatown to celebrate the first of the three New York shows. Neither of us has said a word to the other since we climbed into the vehicle, and the tension is so thick that you could cut it with a knife. I've started a conversation in my head so many times, but always end up resorting to just picking at the cuff of my jacket instead.

"Don't worry about it, mate." Harry assures the driver; tearing his gaze from the window so that he's now looking at me. Reluctantly, I raise my eyes to meet him.

It's been six days since we flew to Philly. Six days since my conversation with Ayae and six days since my friendship with Harry died a little. We agreed to give each other some breathing room. Some space to think. But somehow, we always seem to wind up together in a taxi or sat next to one another at dinner.

We just cannot be parted. We're like magnets.

"How was your meal?" He asks casually. It's such a mundane question that I almost laugh.

"Really good, thanks." In all honesty, I barely touched my food. We were spotted at the restaurant and swarmed by a group of women not much younger than Harry and myself. They giggled and blushed, and in return Harry dished out hugs and small talk.

And despite knowing they were fans - the whole time, my stomach churned. Churned up this overwhelming feeling of unease. A black hole of negative feelings that I've never experienced before. Of jealousy.

For most of the meal, Ayae eyed me across the table - always polite, but clearly expecting. I know I'm one of those girls; the ones who accept advice but never act on it. And I know she's waiting for the moment she can trust that Harry's hair is safe from stress-induced baldness. But I still feel like no one truly understands.

"This is weird, right?" He sighs, sounding more defeated than I've ever heard him.

"What is?" My mouth is dry. I tell myself it's the Chinese food.

"This." He gestures between the two of us like he did with the ice-cream flavours. The Brit and the Berry. "Acting like we barely know each other. I hate this, Juniper."

I hate him calling me Juniper.

I pull my lower lip into my mouth and lower my eyes to the footwell. "I hate it too."

His right hand stretches across the middle seat and grasps one of mine; pressing the cool metal of his rings into my skin. "Then why are we doing it?"

This should be a straightforward question with an answer that rolls off of the tongue. We know we both want more than our friendship. But I'm a coward and Harry doesn't consider consequences.

"Because." My voice cracks. "I can't lose you, Harry. I won't risk it."

We both appear to have forgotten about the driver, who is most definitely eavesdropping, but it's as though my feelings cannot be contained any longer. And although the surroundings are not ideal - Harry needs to know my fears.

"Lose me?" He retorts in disbelief. "Juni, what are you talking about? You should know by now that you're never going to lose me."

He's saying all the right things - the fluttering of my heart confirms it. But he lives in the moment, does Harry. How can he possibly know what he's saying will even be true this time next year?

His tightening grip of my hand pulls my eyes back to his face, and I find myself wanting to smooth the deep groove that's settled between his eyebrows. "Harry, this - you and I - it's not just a friendship to me. This is a big deal. You quite literally mean the world to me. Getting you back...it meant everything."

The groove deepens. "If you think it meant anything less to me - then you don't know me at all, Juniper."

I'm not naive to the bitter tone of his words, or the fact that they seem to leave his mouth through gritted teeth. Car horns blare all around us in a blur of yellow and illuminated headlights, but we remain focused on one another.

And then suddenly Harry is unbuckling his seat belt with his free hand, and pulling himself across the car so that we are all but pressed together. His aftershave fills my nose and I find my eyes drawn to his lips. A large hand slides through my hair and cups one side of my face. I stop breathing.

"You are everything to me." He whispers, and heat rushes to flood my cheeks. "Nothing is going to change that, ok? Whatever happens - it's always going to be you and me. Harry and Juni. Juni and Harry."

Believe him my brain screams at me. Man up!

"I'm scared." I tell him in a volume that's almost too low to be audible. "I can't help it, but I am."

"Juniper, I like you, ok?" One of his long fingers traces my cheek bone. "Yes, you are my best friend. But you and I both know that this is so much more than that. I want to take this risk with you."

I want this too.

I want to take this risk with you.

I should be embarrassed that we're having this conversation in the back of a yellow taxi, in front of a stranger. But I can't find it in me to be. I'm too occupied by the feeling of my heart wanting to explode from my chest, and the fact that Harry's lips are mere inches away from my own. Instead, I nod.

"Yeah?" Harry grins, bringing his forehead to rest against mine.

"Yes," I breathe. "I want to take this risk with you too."

The taxi lurches forward, finally making some headway in the road, and Harry pulls me tighter against him. I should tell him to put his seat belt on, but I don't want him to remove his hand from my face.

"Finally!" Our driver announces, victoriously thumping the steering wheel for good measure.

"Yes," Harry murmurs. "Finally."

And then his lips are against mine, fervently urgent. My fears seem to dissipate at the contact and all I can think is Harry, Harry, Harry. He pulls me impossibly tighter and I sigh into his mouth.

"Juni." He whispers against me, and I feel his lips quirk upwards into a smile before I respond.

"Your Juni." 

author's note: I'm still back from the dead and these two are finally bucking their ideas up! I hope you're all still enjoying - let me know :)