what do you see when you look into your future?
i see cobwebs and dust.
i see a busy world, but i am not in it.
i see a moving passion within each and every one of those creatures who walk the streets, but i've rearranged all of my organs and it is still not inside of me.
i am unsure with every step i take, and my
shadow hesitates with every move i make.
she questions me, whether i'm really thinking or whether i am just pushing myself through every possibility of success. while others climb to the top, i drag myself up the mountain with fingernails scratching the surface. i am so close to living, yet so far from content. i am aware with every breath i take, and because of this, my shadow will not let me rest. she observes every calculated turn i take next, criticizing what is and what could have been. i was born trying to please her, and i will be doing so until i die.
so i wait until one day, i don't feel like i'm watching a tv show where i am the star.
until one day, where i am not wearing a submarine or astronaut helmet, but i am just me.
a single soul, no hesitation from any reflection.
till my shadow is nothing but a reverse projection of my physical depiction.
one day, i will see from my eyes and not just out of them.
