written aug 7, 2017
sotc: 4 o'clock by kim taehyung and kim namjoon of 방탄소년
i open my eyes to complete darkness, yet a soft melody playing from my laptop next to me. i adjust some more, and check the time. its 4 o'clock in the morning, but still dark outside. i know exactly what to do. so, i get out of bed and grab my phone, keys, and earbuds.
its time to go outside; i have this place i go to whenever needed. today, i feel like wondering. i walk out the back door. see, my situation works out for me. i have a garage, where the roof is pretty low. so i grab on and lift myself up. i get comfortable by laying down and placing my earbuds in ears whilst plugged into the phone next to me.
the stars are so visible tonight, all there and glowing. so far away, but they seem so close. i smile, these are my favorite moments , when i can just lift my arm and trace the stars, and i don't have to do anything but think. sometimes, its just what i need. to keep going, for another day.
but of course, what i've left to think of but you? i've spent so many nights here, just resting and thinking about everything. thinking about my health, my work, my future, my impact, and you. sometimes, its just you but other times, you're in everything else i think, everywhere else i think.
its crazy because no matter what i say or do , i won't change a thing. you'll always be a part of my mind. mind and heart. i wonder, if you think the same. how can someone's smile be prettier than the sun, moon, and stars combined?
i guess i'll never know.
