Diary Of My Life 💋👏

How to get going ?

After seeing her the very first time at Love Point, I have an intense feeling to see her again so I followed her time to the Love Point even the next day and I was pretty happy to see her at the same time and same place. Now next step was to have information about her department because it was not possible to find her there every time. Since she used to pass the Love point around 5 o'clock and one day my graduation classmate Surbhi* was also passing through the point in another group at the same timings so I made a smart guess that she might belong to the same department as that of Surbhi (Chemistry department) and later it proved so. She was doing M.Sc. and joined University in same session. We (her and my department) were going for a picnic to the Hatu Peak. On that day I saw her at the University Chowk and followed her to the department with Ashok to know her department and this is how I confirmed her department. Then later that day I saw her many times during the picnic and also clicked her pictures obviously from a distance in indirect way. But, what next? How to satisfy the strong desire to see her again?

When I entered the Science section first time in first semester I got scared after seeing students there studying in very disciplined and serious way. So I started to study in the 24*7 Hour section which was not so serious. It was too much crowded and too noisy. So in second semester I decided to upgrade my seat to Science section perhaps now I was eligible to study there. There were other sections also in the library like Cold Section and B.Ed. sections but I liked the Science section the most. I wanted to see her again but I didn't know how to do that. Among this uncertainty I decided to go to library and started my study for this semester. As decided earlier I went to Science section to study there. In science section there are two parts: inner and outer parts. Outer two walls are raised about 5 to 6 feet with a sitting capacity of two tables (width wise) and a path between those two rows which together form the outer part and remaining an inner part. I sat in the inner lower part of science section facing the wall of outer section. Perhaps nature was also creating environment to bring us together. I was studying there and as I raised my head I saw her sitting in outer part of science section right before me. She was at right angle to me, facing the pillar. Now it was quite easy for me to see her. In fact I want to use a term which people quite often use and that is 'Line maarna'. So here, yes here in the science section I learned how to Line a girl. Was this so easy for me? Of course not and you would definitely laugh when I would describe how I used to line Shivani.

The Nature had created the environment for me, now it was my turn to carry out my actions. She was just before me and only thing I need to do was that I just need to move my head upward to see her. But it was not that much easy for a person who never used to see girls, escape their sight, was afraid of girls and was very introvert. Heart was drawing towards her because of feelings, mind was asking to see her to be successful in experiment and update myself; and I was shivering to even see her once in a while. So this is how I used to see her: First I used to mentally prepare myself for seeing her, fill myself with confidence to be able to see her and then once in an hour I dare to raise my head upward to see her. I became regular in science section, started to occupy the same seat and keep lining Shivani without letting her know (which was very strange thing if you have ever lined some girl because generally we expect an eye clash). Then a very interesting thing happened after some days, perhaps she got an idea that person sitting left of her on lower inner part watch her so in order to confirm this she tried to check it out. When I used to see her, she used to turn her head to her left to confirm this but I immediately put my head down, after all I was very afraid of girls. At that time one thing that was important to me was that whether I was looking at her or not and it was not important whether she was looking back or not. It was the beginning; slowly-slowly I developed confidence and was able to look at her comfortably. Second semester I passed in the lower inner part of the science section, enjoying the feeling of connectedness with Shivani while watching her whenever I felt to do so. She was also regular in library and except the lecture hours she used to spent whole time in the library that way nature created the best environment for me and without any need to follow her (as usually boys have to do), I was able to line her effortlessly. Then I got many opportunities to saw her in library, campus, department, outside library etc.

Actually I sat in lower inner part for around two months only then I changed my seat to outer part, close to Shivani. In third semester, I started coming to library before Shivani and selected such a seat that I could see her, whatever seat she would choose. I sat on upper part of Science section behind her previous seat. She was also very smart when she returned to library she chose the seat opposite to me. I was sitting beside a huge pillar and sat on other side. So both of us used to sit together, separated by a pillar and facing away from pillar. No doubt she had chosen a seat which was not in my view but still she had to pass by me and travel a long path in front of my eyes before she could leave the Science section. I sat there for the rest of my MCA and she also remained on that seat till the last. In this way, daily I got enough time to see her while moving and feeling her presence just with me.