serendipity ≫ mario götze

023

        “As if I feel like it,” I sigh, “I just feel really bad about it all and the worst thing is that everyone knows and I kind of don't want to get in touch with your team mates anymore, they might think I'm insane or a slut even.”

        “Doubt that,” Mario laughs, “Have you seen Julian that night? He's who everyone is talking about.” I had almost forgotten that in the last few days of my sickness. I had forgotten about Lara and Julian.

        “What happened?” I ask him.

        “When I went to the toilet and the whole...incident...happened between you and Thomas, I caught Julian hooking up with some girl,” he says. The way he said incident makes me feel like he does feel bad about what happened. But I hadn't kissed Thomas...or had I? Thomas has a wife or girlfriend or whatever. But he's happy together with her, why would he say that we didn't kiss. I just don't want Mario to doubt me or stop trusting me or anything. I want him to know that I love him, but those words are difficult to get over my lips. In full honestly, I don't even think I said it to anyone before – besides my parents and as a joke. But never in full seriousness and I don't really know when you're ready to say such a thing. When exactly do you know when you love someone?

        “Is something wrong?” Mario asked. I shook my head and tried to wave my thoughts away but I kept repeating the same thing over and over again.

        “Lara told me she had her suspicions about Julian and I haven't talked to hear in a while,” I said to him and turned my body so I could face him, “Is she still in Brazil?” Mario raised his shoulders.

        “I'm not quite sure, haven't seen her around too much. I haven't seen Julian either, apart from at the trainings, really,” Mario answered.

        “Odd,” I say to him, not really being there. I wish I had Lara's phone number so I could give her a call. I decide to go out and find her, but my headache is really horrible. I wonder when the next game is and when we have to change hotels again. They have played agains Ghana last time and they both scored 2 points and the next game is against the United States and I'm not sure how to feel about that. I take my phone from the night stand and check the date – something I haven't done in Brazil too often – and I notice it's June 25. The next game would decide whether they would go through to the next rounds and I really hope they will though. It's silent for a while again. Both focused on the horrible Brazilian TV show, well Mario is focused and I'm not quite. I'm still thinking about it all and I close my eyes to calm down.

        It's only be rather recent that I figured out that Mario is relatively religious too. He's not that extreme, but he has his Christian ideas that I'm not familiar with. He does pray, but not before dinner or after dinner, but he prays before going to sleep. And I'm totally okay with it. I'm just not a religious person and Mario can accept me for who I am, and I'm thankful for that. And I really don't care about that either. Mario can pray whenever he wants and I'll respect and go with him to church if that's what he wants to. But he hasn't wanted to here in Brazil. I wonder if he goes to his 'own' kind of church in Germany, but I haven't had the guts to ask him yet.

        “Lillian,” I hear Mario say next to me. I look up at him and damn he looks gorgeous once again. Sometimes I'm just in awe at his beauty and then I just melt a little from the inside. We've only been together for probably a week or two or three or more. I don't do the counting, maybe Mario does though. I'm still wondering how it's possible that I ended up with him. Maybe when we're getting married, I'll still be wondering. Gosh, that would be horrible.

        “What is it?” I ask him.

        “Do you feel like walking outside for a bit or so?” Mario asked and I nodded. I hadn't been outside too much lately and it was a nice and warm evening. I – literally – rolled myself out of bed and got up to find my shoes. I was dressed in sweatpants and Mario's jersey that he had gifted me after the last game. I was really happy to have received it, because I was the only one not wearing a recent jersey during the last two games and I felt like I didn't belong. But in other words, I really looked bad, but Mario seemed to look through that and pretended I was dressed up in a pretty dress with hair all up and make up and all. But I don't think I have combed my hair today even.

        “You look adorable,” Mario says as he gives me a hug. We walk through the door and decide to take the elevator this time. Because we're just lazy. And Mario has to spare his legs for the game, at least that's what I'm telling myself. I'm just lazy.

        Just after the elevator doors close, I feel Mario push me up against the wall. He starts kissing me, passionately, and there is no way I can say no to him pressing his lips against mine. His hands start moving around on my body and I feel insecure when he reaches certain parts of me, but I let him. In some way, Mario presses the button down and continues exploring my mouth with our tongues. I let him take charge and wrap my hands around his neck, pressing my nails lightly in his skin. I pull him closer and...

        Ding. The door of the elevator opens and Mario and I let go of each other, pretending like nothing happened as someone else steps in. I am pretty sure the guy noticed that something was going on between us. Mario hides behind me, I'm pretty sure I can guess the reason why that's the case. I giggle and Mario teasingly presses his torso to my back. I look up at him. The high difference between us is amazing. Mario isn't even that tall and I'm just super petite, so it looks kind of funny. We have finally reached first floor and we let the guy walk out and then both Mario and I burst out in laughter and walk out together, hand in hand.

        “That was awkward...” I say when we're outside of the hotel.

        “Definitely,” he answers back and kisses me once again. I wish he would never stop kissing me.