the outbreak

a trip down to the store

Ever since birth I've had these dreams- these nightmares. Whenever I was little they scared me, but I always held onto the fact that I thought everyone else had the same type of dreams, that I wasn't alone.

When I was five, I couldn't take it anymore. "Mommy, Mommy!" I fled into her room one night with tearstained eyes. "They're getting worse! The dreams, they're scary. They hurt me!" My mom looked horrified and confused. "What dreams honey? What are you talking about," She asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. I began to describe my vivid dreams: the monsters I'd seen for years, the motionless bodies, people I love not waking up, and no one hearing my screams. Then I brought her the pictures. Hundreds of pictures of horrific scenes. I never liked drawing them but it was the only way I felt better. I started to worry when she woke up my dad. Neither of them seemed to know the dreams like I did and they looked scared.

Little did I know that my life would never be the same after that night. My childhood quickly shifted from Chuck-E-Cheese, princesses, and fairytales to churches, historians, and talking about my dreams all the time. Everyone seemed to think I was some kind of Prophet sent to help us survive the next cycle.

These days I never watched TV, I was on it too often and I hated hearing myself talk about my dreams. I also hated museums because all my drawings were verified as historical artifacts. It's kind of ironic, when I was little all I wanted was to be on TV and have my art in museums. Now I hated it all. The dreams ruined my life.

Anyway this day I made an exception and turned on the TV, because I knew exactly what was going to be announced. No matter what channel I switched to, it was all the same. "As you all know, the world goes through 2000 natural cycles of pain and peace. The peaceful cycle is about to end any day now. We would not like anyone to panic. We understand that the last cycle of pain left the world in chaos which we weren't able to completely fix until just a few decades ago, but this year we have a miracle which will save us all. Her name is-" I clicked off the TV. Enough of that trash.

I couldn't save everyone and I knew that. In fact, everyone who ever actually heard the dreams should have known that. My dreams were always of the aftereffects of the Outbreak, what we call the phase the monsters first awaken. In my dreams, everyone is already gone and it's just me. I didn't know how to stop the Outbreak, I didn't even know when or how it would happen. People didn't want to accept the truth, I don't blame them really. I'd have denied it all if I could.

I pulled on a hoodie and take a walk. As I passed the empty parks and playgrounds I turn away. Did I do this? Am I a part of the reason children are so scared of the cycle they won't come play? Next I stepped inside the grocery store. I've never seen so many crazed and fearful people in one place. The store is overrun with wailing babies, women in tears, and men screaming at the top of their lungs. I didn't really need anything, my family has stocked up for the past few months. I waited a while behind the crowd and purchased a couple packs of gum once I reached the front.

"That's it, hon?" The cashier looked shocked, "Haven't you heard the news? The next cycle is coming! Everyone's stocking up!" I pulled down my hood just enough for her to see my face. "I am the news," I said and took my grocery bag of purchases. "Wait!" She called after me. "Please, you can help me understand! Don't go!" I turned halfway around and looked into her eyes. "You don't want to understand."