Unbound (Bound To You sequel)

FOUR - Songs of Madness

Alpha wolves were possessive. James in a different way than what I'd seen in other alphas. Or was he? Before, nothing had been able to bring forth even the slightest reaction. 

But maybe that was, I pondered, as James unbuttoned my jeans, was because no one in the pack touched me.

What Trist had done was the closest anyone - other than James - had been to me since I came here. Even during the few sparring sessions I'd had with Tommy, there hadn't been close contact.

This strange desire was all because of Trist though. 

Only because of jealousy and while a part of me loved that, the wolf bit maybe? The part of me that still hurt when I thought about how he hadn't seemed to want me at all, at first? But mostly it made me feel uneasy. James had no problem showing he wanted me, making love to me. But before, I thought all the times we'd come together, had been about us.

This was not. The slightly wild and still hungry look in his eyes as he looked up at me confirmed it.

"Stop," I said, and was almost surprised when he did, letting go of my hips as if he'd been burnt.

But of course, he'd stopped. Because James had known what it was like to not be able to say no. To not have a voice in what happened, to be so consumed with magical lust he couldn't.

We hadn't talked about that. We should, but we hadn't.

We hadn't talked about anything.

"I, could we," I started, doing the button on my jeans up, even though the desire he was feeling was still visible on both his face and body. "Could we talk? James? Really talk for once?"

"Take your top off," he said. It was an order, not a request. But I was alpha too.

"No," I said, confused. So much for the backing off when I told him too.

He took a step forward and as quick as he'd thrown his father across the room, he ripped the t-shirt off my body.

"What the hell James!" I cried, scrambling away from him. But he didn't come after me as I'd half feared.

Instead, he took my ripped shirt, went to the window, opened it and threw the ruined piece of clothing outside. He took his own black t-shirt off and came back over to me.

He gave me his shirt. Swallowing, I put it on. Because he hadn't taken my shirt because he wanted me naked. He'd done it because it would still have smelt of his father.

I should have realized as much. But James' sense, as a warrior wolf, was much stronger than my own and with so much else going on, I'd missed it. I hadn't thought about how it might cause a problem.

"I liked that shirt," I told him trying to tease as lifted the shirt he'd given me to my nose and breathed in his scent. "I'm keeping this one as collateral."

"Yes," he said, slowly turning away, breathing heavily. "Please do."

"Can we talk now?" I asked, scooting off the bed and going over to place a hand on his tense shoulder.

"I don't know," he said, still tense. "I don't know what just- I shouldn't have."

"It's okay," I told him.

"I hate this," he said, turning around. While the words hurt, I tried not to show it. "It's always in my head. You are. I thought it would get better."

"Sorry to be an inconvenience," I said, taking a step back from him.

He reached for my hand, gently closing his fingers around mine. "Not you. I like you. It's just...it's hard to tell what is you, what is me and what is the bond, making me..."

"Making you care about me?" I asked, little more than a whisper.

He said nothing, but the look on his face told me I was right on the mark.

"I don't know." I put my free hand over his heart and he let me keep it there. Progress. Then again, we weren't in bed. It seemed then he had the most trouble with my touches. "I can't sense much of your feelings through the mate bond. But I don't feel bothered by what I do sense, feel. Maybe you pay too much attention to it. Maybe you focus too much on what you fear isn't real, that you miss what is?"

He shook his head, not listening. "If I could shut it out, I would. I would."

"Come with me and Robin to Montreal," I tried. "Let us spend some time away from here-"

"No," he said, slipping away from me. Body and soul. "I'm needed here."

"Do you want me to stay with you?" I asked, praying he'd say yes. 

But he shook his head, either not able to sense my emotions through our bond or ignoring them. "You and Robin sort whatever mess there is in Montreal. Let me think about things a little more. Without you here."

"Okay," I agreed, even though I doubted he'd be able to. The whole point of being someone's mate was that you had someone there for you, someone who helped you and shared your problems. At least that was what I figured. But it was also about respect so for now I'd respect James wish to attempt to deal with his feelings on his own. Because in the end, he was the only one who truly could. "I will."

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A/N: Not sure about the ending, cut out and re-wrote some bits trying to make it work better. It was supposed to show Megan is changing her tune a little, realizing that she can't change James, but she's still hopeful he'll let her help. IDK, feels like maybe all of that just got crammed into the last line.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed and don't forget to leave a like or comment!